This is a good approach to the environment issues

I love No Impact Man. He's a REAL open-minded liberal. As in, he works to engage people from all parts of the spectrum to support his cause.

More importantly, he thinks in a manner that feels, to me, very Catholic (although I doubt he is even a Christian). He believes strongly in stewardship of environmental resources, in loving our neighbors as ourselves, in forgiveness, and in striving for a greater good. And he believes in working together to achieve this with those who may believe differently in other areas, for the greater good.

He writes this excellent post on what he calls "environmental effectiveness". Basically, this is the idea that we want to get the most good for the least resources. Well-used resources which make people happy and fill their lives with opportunity are "environmentally effective". The beauty of this concept is that it captures many of the issues with environmentalism in a way that "sustainability" does not. It emphasizes the importance of human quality of life in a way that the environmental movement tends to gloss over. How many times have we heard the banal, despairing statement that the Earth would be better off without humanity? And how many times have we felt horror that someone should have such disregard for the virtues of their own species, horror that someone should be so willing to disregard OUR personal value, in favor of animals and pristine vistas? More specifically, in favor of animals unloved by humans and vistas unseen by humans? Humanity does believe, in general, that we are better and different than animals. Environmentalism needs to (and ought to) work with that belief.

Here is the link: http://www.worldchanging.com/archives/008905.html

Building a foundation

Lately, I've been passing up a number of opportunities to help out others around me. I've intentionally been limiting how much effort I will put into anything above and beyond my most basic roles: Mother, wife, employee. The result is a very insular way of living that isn't returning into the world the gifts that God gives our family. Yet I think it is what God needs me to do right now. While I want to construct a life that will praise God as beautifully as any church, I need to start with a foundation: A family that can bear the weight of God's Will for its members.

This foundation needs to involve the entire family; I cannot create it on my own. I lack a certain level of control or independence in my life. I cannot do anything or give anything without my family also doing or giving. Even something as simple as cooking a meal for a friend who is going through a busy period requires a gift from my family. If I cook when the children are awake, my husband must watch the children with less help from me for a little longer. If I cook when they are asleep, it takes from the time my husband and I spend together as a couple, watching TV or playing video games. My husband didn't sign up for a wife who is never available to share his passion because she wants so much to fit in with her friends, and this may be part of our problems lately.

Part of me is embarressed that I'm choosing playing video games with my husband over helping a friend, but on closer examination I realize it's actually a very shallow embarressment. My situation isn't the same as the other women, where the homemaker of the family is the one drawing the family into their community, and I shouldn't be measuring myself against them. A large part of what is going on in my head is a less-shallow version of keeping up with the Jones'. The big difference is that I'm trying to keep up in an area of real value, the area of helping my friends, rather than in the area of "fancy car" or "nice house" - but otherwise, the situation is very similar. Following the caring example of a friend out of love is good; feeling guilty because I am not as helpful as my friends is honestly a little silly.

My friends already have foundations, at least for this part of their houses, and they are able to meet the needs of their community without me. Right now, I need to give my family the things they need to feel comfortable signing up, as a family, for this kind of simple ministry and making it part of our family's work. In this, I really miss the short stint I spent as a homemaker. During the time when my husband was at work, I had complete leadership over the family. I could do as I saw fit, provided I was fulfilling my responsibilities to my children. I no longer experience that sort of leadership of our family, and I find I really miss it.

No, really, I still exist

I haven't posted for a long time. I also have been withdrawn from friends, family, and so on for a while. After all the craziness around my taking leave, I suppose it makes sense that a few people are getting worried.

So, some reassurance. I've been absent mainly because I'm focusing on just the couple of things that really matter, and trying to get a solid foundation under our family. We've missed a number of social / prayer events lately due to normal illnesses that run around in the fall plus the girls giving up naps but still really needing them. We're trying a new schedule at home, and it doesn't leave me much time to make phone calls. And I'm not going out of my way to get involved with the opportunities around me to help others until we figure out what is going on with DH so that he and I can sit down and talk about how much involvement he can encourage, and at what part me giving my time becomes a burden to him.

On the DH-and-I front, I really think counseling is getting somewhere since we switched counselors. We've had three sessions with each counselor, and I felt like we didn't get anywhere at all with the first. In contrast, this counselor has covered the main path that our conversations for the past year have been meandering along, and by the third session we were discussing new things that have barely been touched on.

Even better, DH has scheduled an appointment to be evaluated for depression. I know that it really helped me to work with professionals to figure out if I had a problem - and I was really happy (albeit embarressed) to learn that I did, and that there was an easy fix. I think DH is starting to see that he is probably in a similar situation, and that the family needs him to be healthy and active. Just realizing that he probably isn't healthy seems to have helped a lot. I can understand why; "I have a medical issue" inspires a lot less guilty than "I am lazy" (or, in my case, "I am a bad wife"). I really hope we get a useful diagnosis; I can't believe that my husband is healthy right now. He's definitely getting closer, and I can see him trying - which is a huge step in and of itself. But I would really like to have back the man who supported me and his children in so many ways right after he became a father.

And for myself, being healthy again is wonderful. I can still tell when I miss my iron pills, but I can now miss a single dose without feeling the effects. It's not until I miss two doses that I really feel yucky. I'm not intentionally missing doses, mind you; I just have to pay attention more now that I don't start feeling yucky prompty around the time I was supposed to take some more medicine. Of course, I'll feel better once I get over this cold; I guess I'm not really all *that* healthy right now. Meh, whatever; overall, I'm doing better.