Garden and landscaping plans

I think we have about 4 more hours of work before we have a useable sandbox, plus maybe 2 hours of finishing touches that can be done once we see how the sadbox works as-is when we first unveil it. The other projects I'd like to do are:

• Setting up a small raised garden near where we park the car, and transplanting the roses there (I have two that seem like climbers), with a trellis or arbor for them to grow over. I'm thinking this would also be a good place for lavendar, rosemary, and thyme.
  
• Removing at least the west 1/3rd of the front yard and planting Sunshine Blueberry plants (only grow to about 2 feet) and strawberries (should be a good groundcover companion plant). If I have time, I'd like to clear out the rest of the grass as well and throw in a rhubarb and maybe some red huckleberries . . . not sure what else would grow there, it doesn't get a lot of sun.
  
• Clearing out the middle pond, filling it with good garden dirt, and turning it into a lovely new garden patch.
  
• Getting a grate to cover the smallest pond with, so we can keep it as a holding pond without worrying about kids falling in.
  
• Removing a number of dead plants that were killed by those strong frosts last winter, so their space can be planted again. I'll possibly also remove a number of ornamental trees that are in the way or blocking light. I don't really like ornamental plants that much. It's probably my engineer nature - I prefer a combination of form and function, with function being slightly more important.
  
• A bunch of smaller wants, like putting in red huckleberries and weeding the edge of the future garden pond.
  
• I don't really expect to get to this, but perhaps next summer I want to put in a large French-drain system with flagstones (so it doubles as a path) through the swamp that develops in winter and spring near the picinc table, and extend the raised beds out to the edges of that drain to get more growing space and less flooding space. Hopefully we can engineer the drains to empty into the holding pond.
  
• Another "probably next year" item is making one giant raised bed back behind the shed.
  
• Another thing for next year is turning part of the shed into a playhouse for the girls. I was going to do that this summer, but making the ponds safe seemed more important when I actually got to work. Mainly, it needs to be treated for mildew, and I'd like to repaint it.
  
• Future dreams also include raising chickens to one side of the shed, and putting together a fancy playground for the kids with a slide, swings, and all that stuff. I'm not sure how realistic either of these is, but I'd love to be able to do both.
  

My garden plans for next spring are really starting to gel. The hardest part is trying to plan for simplicity during what are normally the busiest months for gardeners, when the baby will arrive and I will still be working full-time. I'd be a fool to think I'll be getting more than 30 minutes a week to garden, so my plans have to be streamlined during that phase.

I'm going to put in peas to the east of the patio, in the kitchen garden, and runner beans to the south. The peas were easily the most effortless thing I grew last year, so I should have no trouble planting them. I'm hoping runner beans will be just as easy. In front of the peas, I want to put in peppers and onions, and maybe garlic. Hopefully the pond-garden will be done, and I can put tomatoes there, but if not then I will have to fit them in the kitchen garden with the peppers. It'll be a regular salsa garden!

Finally, I'm going to make a real effort to get in an herb container garden next year. I can do a lot of the prep work this year by getting the pots and soil ready to go, so I just need to start the seedlings and pop them in!

I have dreams of chard, kale, carrots, potatoes, artichokes, asparagus, raspberries, blackberries, and more. I might try one or two of these if I finish the pond garden, but otherwise I think I need to just accept that those things will have to wait until I am a bit more prepared and experienced, and not quite so busy.

Looks like I'm going to be blogging again, eventually

I think I'm going to start another blog again . . . but I want to be a lot more prepared this time around, so I probably won't start publishing for months. It might be 2010 before I get going.

I got some definite interest from one Catholic forum on the idea of creating resources for Catholic WOHMs. However, it wasn't quite overwhelming enough for me to want to make this a priority and declare it a clear vocation. This subject is important enough to me that I want to spend more time thinking about it and seeing what I can come up with, but I want to approach it very much in a "We'll see how it goes" fashion, with the recognition that this attitude means that I may never make any meaningful progress.

I'm thinking that the blog won't be geared towards just WOHMs. This is because I want to learn from SAHMs. They already have done a lot to discern about living Catholic daily lives when busy, figuring out how to support each other as women and mothers, and are able to balance different styles without demeaning each other.

Another reason to write for SAHMs as well is to make sure that I can speak to WOHMs without demeaning mothers who are home with their children full-time, many of whom have sacrificed to do this. Also, I want to send a clear message that the "Mommy Wars" aren't necessary and aren't Catholic. They are a construct of society. The goal of all Catholic mothers should be to serve their God, their families, and their community. For some women, they will need to be employed to do this to the fullest, giving to their families indirectly through their paychecks. For others, they will need to stay home and give more of themselves directly to their family.

My thought for a blog name is "Mary and Gianna" - as in, Mother Mary and St. Gianna. I think these women encapsulate the essence of the "employed vs. at-home" mother 'debate' as it should be framed by Catholics. Clearly Mary is the perfect woman, who served God in an especially feminine and fulfilling way by mothering Jesus with her entire life. Yet St. Gianna was called by God to serve in a very different way despite also being a mother, by serving her community through her employment as well until the birth of her fourth child (and her subsequent death). It is difficult to find much information about St. Gianna's work-life balance, sadly (I'm hoping her love letters will give me some clues), but the Vatican posts on their website that, "With simplicity and equilibrium she harmonized the demands of mother, wife, doctor and her passion for life."

I think this expresses a healthy philosophy - that mothers who dedicate their lives to their children, especially during the early years, fulfill a special vision of feminine and maternal virtue that is shown most clearly and beautifully in the Mother of Our Lord. However, this does not mean that this is the only path to feminine, maternal virtue! Employed mothers need to find ways to serve God, family, and community that may not be the same as mothers who are able to be in the home and community more, rather than in a workplace. In discerning these ways we can serve, we can draw from church teachings on women, motherhood, and labor, and also from fathers and other men who have been combining holiness and employment as the normal way of life for so long.

I won't be able to put much energy into this until at least autumn. I really want to get a few more big projects done in the yard, mostly filling up or covering the old ponds so they aren't a safety hazard (kids playing outside unaccompanied - yay!).

First step on "being the change" has been taken.

I just threw a post up on a Catholic forum asking other employed mothers if they wanted something like the support for SAHMs from a Catholic perspective. If I get good responses, I'll probably post around in a few other places to see if the good response is consistent. I threw it up about ten minutes ago, and already have about three replies, so that's a good sign :)

If there is enough interest, I'll probably kick off a blog on the topic as a low-commitment way to gauge further the interest in such a project, to gauge my own ability to commit to such a project on top of everything else (very important to know!), to practice writing on the topic, to build community, and to start storing up a collection of links, articles, and research that maybe could later go into a book on the subject.

What does the Catholic church say about WOHMs?

I love the way the Catholic church and its members support SAHMs, especially in the face of secular attitudes towards feminism and motherhood. I love the way it validates, uplifts, and upholds their work as the fulfillment of feminine virtue.

What I don't love is the resounding near-silence from most of the church and its members when it comes to employed moms. It's not that employed moms should be treated as an "alternate ideal", because there are good, sound reasons for mothers to generally be more involved with home life and less involved with employed life, while fathers take the opposite path in general. Yet so many mothers are employed, and many for good reasons, while the amount of support for these mothers from the church is very small. I ache every time I read one of the many wonderful articles or reviews of books written to support SAHMs, or hear about a great program like "Mary and Martha" that helps women discover their path to follow Christ in their homes, not because I resent them, but because I feel the same need for guidance that those mothers must feel - but don't get these wonderful, considerate answers that they do.

There is a saying: Be the change you want to see in the world. I'm trying to figure out if I can do this, somehow. Could I do something to give mothers like mea sense of community and holiness in their lives? Do other mothers even feel this want the way I do, or am I just different somehow? If it's not just me, can I do this in a way that does not diminish the virtues and work of SAHMs, but rather ties together motherly virtue and the workplace in such a way that WOHMs feel united with our sisters in Christ who serve their families in the homes? Can the rich advice and abundant guides to holiness for SAHMs, combined with church teachings on daily labor, give employed mothers a guide to living the virtues they've been given with the life that they've been given, so we don't feel excluded from the blessings of church community by the circumstances that lead to our employment outside the home?

I think that such a philosophy would flow quite naturally from church teachings, when those teachings are closely examined by anyone with personal experience in this area. And I want to know what this philosophy would look like. Surely there is information available. There have been saints who have pursued daily work while living holy lives, most pertinently St. Gianna. Nor can I believe that the church does not speak to the many men who labor for their families - surely many principles that apply to these men will apply to many women as well.

At the same time, such a task would be daunting at a time when there is so much else happening in my life. It would take research, interviews, networking, lots of thought, analysis of other women's needs, consideration of my own biases, community building, and so much more. Some of these tasks suit my introverted, analytical nature - but many would require me to step well outside of my comfort zone, asking for help and support from people I may admire or consider better than myself to complete this project, and interacting with many strangers over a potentially very personal topic.

I also expect that this would be less a situation of philosophy formation than of discovery. I think the answers are already out there, just buried under controversy and confusion arising from "Mommy Wars", radical feminism, and secular voices that praise employed mothers for all the wrong reasons. These are real controversies, but I firmly believe that they result from confusion, rather than from any real opposition - and "the truth will set you free." I want to uncover the hidden message of what God's revelation means for the employed mother's daily life, so we can enjoy the same rich meaning that I see in the lives of SAHMs.

Baby!

Okay, I haven't gotten around to blogging about our new family member yet, and the first trimester is already almost over! Our baby's birth is expected in early February. The due date is January 22nd, but my family has a "tradition" of staying pregnant until at least 42 weeks, when they are induced or schedule a surgery.

Unfortunately, the Evergreen midwives (whom I received prenatal care from with my twins, until the cord was discovered to be presenting and I needed a C-section) are not an option for the birth. I will be attempting a VBAC, and the Evergreen midwives have a policy of scheduling a C-section for 41 weeks if you don't go into labor first as a VBAC. There's no good medical reason - they do it to avoid liability risks.

I'm trying to transfer my care to Dr. Dana Blackham, who really impressed me during our meet-and-greet with his transparency, knowledge, and interest in my input. Plus, his "late baby VBAC policy" allows for going to 43 weeks or even slightly later with regular ultrasounds and stress tests after 42 weeks (to detect post-maturity syndrome, I presume). Since a late baby is normal in my family, this was a good sign. He also didn't freak out about the idea of a VBAC with a 9-pound baby - and large babies are another family tradition, large even for late babies by a good half pound.

I also need to find a doula, which I haven't yet put much work into. I'd like to find someone who can not only support me & DH in the normal ways, by suggesting ways to cope with labor, but who can also support my faith. I want very much for my birth to be a chance for spiritual growth rather than just a situation to be endured. I don't know how realistic that is, having never been in labor, and I might be naive about being able to gain strength from prayer while, say, going through the transition phase - but I also know that when I get a strong "gut feeling" like this, it's usually worth checking out and putting some effort into. I don't object at all to people laughing at me if I throw the Rosary beads at the doula and beg for an epidural when push comes to shove . . . so to speak.

The girls are excited about the baby, although I think the idea is still a bit abstract for them. They know the baby will be here about one month after Christmas, so they get that there is a wait involved. We'll probably make a "baby advent calendar" from Christmas until a few weeks after the due date, to help them understand the timeline.

DH is also starting to show some signs of excitement, which is a big step. This baby wasn't exactly a surprise, but wasn't exactly planned either. I've been wanting to get pregnant again for about a year and a half, so I had few problems adjusting when our lazy attempts at avoiding pregnancy "failed". DH is in a different position, though. I will say that we both relaxed a lot once we learned that there was only one baby to prepare for, as twins would have devastating implications for our budget. It's not that babies are expensive (they aren't), but twin pregnancy and birth would highly impact my ability to earn an income. Our expenses can't go much lower than they are, since we are upside-down on our mortgage and can't sell the house. We could trim off maybe another $30 a month if we invested several hours a week, but at that point we're better off making sure I stay healthy and don't miss work with that time. It's just a better investment to keep me from missing a day and losing $200+ in income.

I need to write another post about car-buying, and another post about the cool home-improvement stuff I've been up to this last weekend, plus should also tell about our wonderful 4th of July - which, to me, really seemed like something out of a storybook, the stuff nostalgia is made of.

Honestly, the financial stress and what-ifs have been a constant annoyance - but overall, I really feel like my life since getting fired from MS has been quite blessed. It's not exactly because I was fired, although getting rid of the bad history at that job and getting lots of time with my children (who desperately needed an attentive parent by that point) really did help everyone get their feet back on the ground.

Pregnancy has also been a great blessing. I really don't take good enough care of myself normally, whether because I'm busy and too much depends on me, or I'm trying to save money, or whatever. Pregnancy forces me to give greater weight to my own health, both because of the increased frailty of my health and because the baby's health is dependent upon my own. The net result is better work-life balance, and I actually get more done than usual at home and work, while still being fairly available to the kids. A lot of this is because I lean more on DH, and find that DH is also strengthened by the challenge of providing for this baby so that he is more available than normal. He was an amazing father during and after my first pregnancy, and I can see him finding his way back into that role again during this pregnancy.