I haven't posted for a long time. I also have been withdrawn from friends, family, and so on for a while. After all the craziness around my taking leave, I suppose it makes sense that a few people are getting worried.
So, some reassurance. I've been absent mainly because I'm focusing on just the couple of things that really matter, and trying to get a solid foundation under our family. We've missed a number of social / prayer events lately due to normal illnesses that run around in the fall plus the girls giving up naps but still really needing them. We're trying a new schedule at home, and it doesn't leave me much time to make phone calls. And I'm not going out of my way to get involved with the opportunities around me to help others until we figure out what is going on with DH so that he and I can sit down and talk about how much involvement he can encourage, and at what part me giving my time becomes a burden to him.
On the DH-and-I front, I really think counseling is getting somewhere since we switched counselors. We've had three sessions with each counselor, and I felt like we didn't get anywhere at all with the first. In contrast, this counselor has covered the main path that our conversations for the past year have been meandering along, and by the third session we were discussing new things that have barely been touched on.
Even better, DH has scheduled an appointment to be evaluated for depression. I know that it really helped me to work with professionals to figure out if I had a problem - and I was really happy (albeit embarressed) to learn that I did, and that there was an easy fix. I think DH is starting to see that he is probably in a similar situation, and that the family needs him to be healthy and active. Just realizing that he probably isn't healthy seems to have helped a lot. I can understand why; "I have a medical issue" inspires a lot less guilty than "I am lazy" (or, in my case, "I am a bad wife"). I really hope we get a useful diagnosis; I can't believe that my husband is healthy right now. He's definitely getting closer, and I can see him trying - which is a huge step in and of itself. But I would really like to have back the man who supported me and his children in so many ways right after he became a father.
And for myself, being healthy again is wonderful. I can still tell when I miss my iron pills, but I can now miss a single dose without feeling the effects. It's not until I miss two doses that I really feel yucky. I'm not intentionally missing doses, mind you; I just have to pay attention more now that I don't start feeling yucky prompty around the time I was supposed to take some more medicine. Of course, I'll feel better once I get over this cold; I guess I'm not really all *that* healthy right now. Meh, whatever; overall, I'm doing better.
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2 comments:
I'm really glad things are getting better. I wanted to invite y'all over, but the weekend is completely and utterly packed to the gills, and I'll be glad to see Monday.
I hope things continue to go well, and you might ask DH to get his blood levels checked, too. Francis once found out his vitamin D was really low, and it's kind of like having low iron when it comes to energy level. Rikki-san has a lamp you can try out for folks with winter depression problems from lack of sunlight. My DH wants one.
Love you guys! We'd love to have the girls again, too!
We couldn't have come - we were busy too. We just had the Barreca family Thanksgiving (yes, a month early) yesterday.
I've been asking DH about going to the doctor as well, so it's on our list. I'm pretty sure it's not Vitamin D - he was outside a ton (over 2 hours a day) during part of the slide, and things have gotten better since fall started - not worse, as one would expect with SAD. I do want him to get iron and thyroid stuff checked, though. It would be great if the issue turned out to be something that can be fixed with a little supplementation. At the same time, I'm preparing for this to possibly be more difficult. There is good reason to think that this problem, whatever its source, has been affecting him for most of his life.
If so, God has laid a good foundation for me to work from. My experience with the low iron really is helping me understand what DH is going through and why he can't always do his job - and why it's important for me to continue to have reasonable expectations and risk "being a jerk" by telling DH when he's falling short. It's just healthier for both of us.
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