Big events for each month of the last year - yep, that's right, I go a months without saying anything and then post a novella:
January: Got fired six days into the year. With this auspicious beginning, DH and I both start looking for work.
February: No one has found a job yet. Despite the financial stress and mounting credit card bills, the whole family seems to be generally doing better than 2008 (when we were dealing with many health issues and family struggles, and the girls were not getting the parental attention they needed).
March: Our credit card debt grows and our bank account empties completely. I find a year-long contract position and start March 15th. DH keeps watching the girls and looking for work. The UI check for all my UI payments for the last 2.5 months arrives one week after my first paycheck, just in time to pay for the mortgage for April.
April: Birthday celebrations for all! Grandparents are very generous to our daughters. There's also an anniversary in there, but as usual, no one makes a big fuss about it. DH keeps applying for jobs, and has it down to a fine art. He applies to 3 or 4 jobs a day when they are available, and does this in about 2 to 3 hours a day.
May: We have an unplanned pregnancy, as expected. The only surprise is that it took so long to happen. Although we are both quite worried about how we'll manage the birth in this economy, there is also a subtle resurgence of hope and motivation that our family sorely needed.
June: Stupid car keeps breaking down. I garden when I'm not working.
July: Not only does the stupid car keep breaking down, it's going to need a $2,400 repair in 6 months. We decide it's worth adding to our huge pile of debt to get a new car using Cash for Clunkers. We mitigate our embarressment over having a new car (and the accompanying debt) by getting the vehicle with the lowest Total Cost to Own that we can find, which turns out to be a Honda Fit and quite possibly the car we would have bought anyways if we'd had money. The girls promptly name "her" Bluea.
August: Outdoors projects! A new firepit, one fish pond turns into a sandbox, the garden grows and we eat lots of fresh snow peas. Blueberries come to adorn our front yard. DH starts getting rejection notices occasionally, and we both find this immensely encouraging and take it as a sign that the economy is improving.
September: I realize we're two weeks behind on our mortgage, and try budgeting with Mint.com, which is a really neat service. DH starts getting scheduled for phone interviews that then get cancelled because the job filled before anyone actually interviewed him. My sister gives us a free car that she'd located for us back when we were having car troubles.
October: It's a girl! I make a spreadsheet of all our expected income and predictable expenses through the end of the year, in addition to the budget at Mint.com. DH starts actually getting interviews in person and on the phone, rather than just scheduling and cancelling interviews. The girls have to use last year's Halloween costumes, but still have a great time trick-or-treating with the grandparents.
November: I start putting effort into stocking the freezer so we have food when the baby arrives. DH and I finally agree on a name for the baby. DH gets a job offer for a seasonal tax software support position, and accepts it. I get a holiday bonus for Thanksgiving. We come home from a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the step-family in-laws with butternut squash and an excellent bottle of home-made wine.
December: During a cold snap while we can't afford to heat the house, the shower drain freezes solid for about a week. The girls get excited about Christmas despite the lack of decor. I get extra hours at work plus holiday pay, but then lose some money when the family gets sick. We still have enough money to buy work clothes for DH and a few gifts and much needed things. We go to the San Juan Islands to visit the in-laws for Christmas, and a gloriously relaxing time is had by all. DH starts his job the last week of the year, and I start working from home on a schedule that is flexible enough that I can also care for the children. It's a little crazy, but works well enough.
And, looking forward to early 2010, here is what we expect to have happen:
January: DH continues to work while I care for the children and work from home. The baby is due January 22nd, which means 95% chance of being born between January 8th and February 5th. My family tends to run late, so bet on early February. I won't be taking maternity leave at all unless I absolutely physically must. The laptop comes to the hospital with me, and I could conceivably return to my work before I return to my home. DH will probably take a day or two of unpaid sick time to be with me until I leave the hospital.
February: DH could lose his job this month, but I'm guessing he won't. So this month will probably be him working full-time in the office and doing all the housework and cooking (he'll have a good freezer stash to work with) while I work full-time from home and care for the children - including the baby, who will essentially live on the nursing pillow while I work. I suspect I'm going to need some help, especially immediately after the birth.
March: DH could lose his job this month, and it's actually pretty likely that he will. I will definitely lose my job this month, as my contract ends March 15th. I'm supposed to be in the office to train my replacement from March 1st to March 15th. If DH is still working, we will need childcare during that time. I have no idea who or how that will work. Once the contract ends, I will get UI. We shouls also have a $1,000 emergency fund and may have some additional savings. There is a small chance that our mortgage payment might be reduced by $1,000 a month permanently starting about now if our application last October for a Home Mortgage Loan Modification finally goes through, but we aren't counting on it.
April: If DH hasn't lost his job yet, it will end by the 15th of this month. If he does get this far without being laid off, he might get UI. It won't be much, but every little bit helps. Either way, he's going to be looking for any work he can get to keep us from going broke, so I can focus on getting the best job I can. I don't want to end my "UI-paid maternity leave" for anything less than enough to cover our expenses and get us out of debt pretty quickly, too.
May: Our emergency fund and my UI will keep us in the black through this month even if DH's job ends back in March or earlier and even if we put all his income to paying off our credit cards. However, we'll need some additional income between March 15th and the end of May to make it through June in the black. We are pretty optimistic about being able to manage this.
Looking beyond May gets pretty hazy . . . things could end up being really messy financially, in the worst case, which could result in rough times for the whole family. Things could end up being really great, in the best case. So much depends on us finding jobs, and maybe even finding good jobs, and we only have so much control over that. However, I can say that baby Audrey will probably say her first word in 2010, and might even take her first steps near the end of the year. The twins will continue to grow up, and by December they will be 4 years 9 months old. We'll need to start deciding if we will put them into a public school kindergarten in September of 2011 or not. And, of course, we'll be in God's hands no matter what happens, and we will have each other (barring tragedy). There are some things that just don't depend on finances, and I would be a fool not to consider them worth mentioning.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
Talking with the kids about birth
Iliana has asked a number of times about whether or not the baby has toys in my womb. I've explained to her that the baby doesn't yet know how to play with toys, and right now she just plays by kicking and moving her body. Of course, Iliana thinks this is sad and wants to get some toys in my womb for the baby to play with.
Both girls have been very curious about the idea of birth. I've been giving them all the information I can as they ask for it, and that seems to be working pretty well. I'm rather surprised by how they seem to handle the most explicit and even gory details just fine. Iliana was surprised to learn that there was a hole there for a baby to come out of. Lenora wanted to know about their birth as well, which was a C-section, and handled the cheerful, frank, and explicit three-sentence summary I gave her just fine - even the bit about the doctors cutting into my womb. She just listened and said, "Oh!" and then went back to playing. Who knows how much she actually retained?
Now I'm just waiting until we're waiting in line at the supermarket and they start explaining what they've learned to some hapless person who just happens to be standing next to us.
Both girls have been very curious about the idea of birth. I've been giving them all the information I can as they ask for it, and that seems to be working pretty well. I'm rather surprised by how they seem to handle the most explicit and even gory details just fine. Iliana was surprised to learn that there was a hole there for a baby to come out of. Lenora wanted to know about their birth as well, which was a C-section, and handled the cheerful, frank, and explicit three-sentence summary I gave her just fine - even the bit about the doctors cutting into my womb. She just listened and said, "Oh!" and then went back to playing. Who knows how much she actually retained?
Now I'm just waiting until we're waiting in line at the supermarket and they start explaining what they've learned to some hapless person who just happens to be standing next to us.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
OAMC tricks
I do occasional once-a-month-cooking days still, but I've started to work out a few tricks to make it a bit easier lately.
The biggest trick I've figured out is that you save a lot of time by not cooking specifically for just the next month. Instead, you cook a lot of similar meals, but you are cooking 1/3rd of the meals you will eat for the next 3 months. Cooking similar meals is a major timesaver, cuts down on the number of ingredients and prep-steps you need to do, and most meals that can be frozen for a month won't have any issues if they are in a deep freezer for another two months.
So far, I've figured out a few groupings of meals that work well for my family and have similar preperation steps: Bean soups and chilis, pizzas, marinades and meats, stir fries, and pasta sauces.
At this point, I've done this style of once-a-month cooking with bean soups and chilis, and with pizzas. I got a lot more done in the same amount of time. Now I'm trying to decide what I want to do for next week. I'm leaning towards marinades, but meat is expensive and our budget is tight right now. I do have a lot of fish already in the freezer, so maybe prepping marinades and marinating the fish and seafood this week, then buy and marinate some beef and chicken next week? Stir-fry could be fun instead, but pasta sauces would probably be really easy and something lighter sounds good right now.
Maybe I'll just reorganize the freezer so it's easier to get to what we already have. That might be more useful in the long run.
My long-term dream is to eventually be able to do this with friends, as a potluck-style party. Something like, have everyone bring 10 cups of pre-soaked beans and one other item off of a list of ingredients, and then enjoy making bean soups together with what everyone brings. Or "bring your own crusts and some toppings" and make pizzas together.
The biggest trick I've figured out is that you save a lot of time by not cooking specifically for just the next month. Instead, you cook a lot of similar meals, but you are cooking 1/3rd of the meals you will eat for the next 3 months. Cooking similar meals is a major timesaver, cuts down on the number of ingredients and prep-steps you need to do, and most meals that can be frozen for a month won't have any issues if they are in a deep freezer for another two months.
So far, I've figured out a few groupings of meals that work well for my family and have similar preperation steps: Bean soups and chilis, pizzas, marinades and meats, stir fries, and pasta sauces.
At this point, I've done this style of once-a-month cooking with bean soups and chilis, and with pizzas. I got a lot more done in the same amount of time. Now I'm trying to decide what I want to do for next week. I'm leaning towards marinades, but meat is expensive and our budget is tight right now. I do have a lot of fish already in the freezer, so maybe prepping marinades and marinating the fish and seafood this week, then buy and marinate some beef and chicken next week? Stir-fry could be fun instead, but pasta sauces would probably be really easy and something lighter sounds good right now.
Maybe I'll just reorganize the freezer so it's easier to get to what we already have. That might be more useful in the long run.
My long-term dream is to eventually be able to do this with friends, as a potluck-style party. Something like, have everyone bring 10 cups of pre-soaked beans and one other item off of a list of ingredients, and then enjoy making bean soups together with what everyone brings. Or "bring your own crusts and some toppings" and make pizzas together.
Kids say the cutest things
I got a few good quotes from the girls recently.
A few weeks back, Lenora offered me some of her food. I thanked her, and she told me that she was feeding the baby!
Lenora is so ready to help nurture and care for her baby sister. Iliana seems to be more ready for a playmate, so I suspect she won't show more than curiousity until the baby gets more active and can interact a bit more. Lenora wanted a baby sister, and Iliana wanted a baby brother. I suspect Iliana has noticed that younger boys tend to be more active than younger girls, and therefore more interesting (to her mindset). Lenora wants something to cuddle and love, so "more active" isn't a good thing to her. Judging by the kicking, this child might be more like Iliana than Lenora. Then again, it might just be that this little girl has more room to move around.
Other cutisms:
When I got home from work on Monday, Iliana ran up to me saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Then she got to me and asked, "Did you buy anything?" I think she wasn't asking for presents, so much as she was realizing that when I come home before their bedtime, I've usually bought groceries. But it was still funny!
At bedtime, Lenora was talking to herself a lot - then suddenly out of nowhere she looks a little concerned and says, "But Mommy, if you keep getting bigger, then maybe you might not be able to fit in the house." I reassured her that the baby would be born and would finish growing outside of me, just like them, and I would go back to my normal size. She didn't seem convinced - I think she then said, "But you might not . . ."
A few weeks back, Lenora offered me some of her food. I thanked her, and she told me that she was feeding the baby!
Lenora is so ready to help nurture and care for her baby sister. Iliana seems to be more ready for a playmate, so I suspect she won't show more than curiousity until the baby gets more active and can interact a bit more. Lenora wanted a baby sister, and Iliana wanted a baby brother. I suspect Iliana has noticed that younger boys tend to be more active than younger girls, and therefore more interesting (to her mindset). Lenora wants something to cuddle and love, so "more active" isn't a good thing to her. Judging by the kicking, this child might be more like Iliana than Lenora. Then again, it might just be that this little girl has more room to move around.
Other cutisms:
When I got home from work on Monday, Iliana ran up to me saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Then she got to me and asked, "Did you buy anything?" I think she wasn't asking for presents, so much as she was realizing that when I come home before their bedtime, I've usually bought groceries. But it was still funny!
At bedtime, Lenora was talking to herself a lot - then suddenly out of nowhere she looks a little concerned and says, "But Mommy, if you keep getting bigger, then maybe you might not be able to fit in the house." I reassured her that the baby would be born and would finish growing outside of me, just like them, and I would go back to my normal size. She didn't seem convinced - I think she then said, "But you might not . . ."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thoughts on Obama's speech
These are my off-the-cuff, as I read the text, reactions to Obama's health care speech.
"Others are self-employed, and can't afford it, since buying insurance on your own costs you three times as much as the coverage you get from your employer."
If you are lucky. We found that buying coverage on our own was cheaper for at least my husband and daughters, and these days I'm wondering if there might have been a cheaper option for me as well. But I can accept this as an average.
"More and more Americans worry that if you move, lose your job, or change your job, you'll lose your health insurance too. More and more Americans pay their premiums, only to discover that their insurance company has dropped their coverage when they get sick, or won't pay the full cost of care."
Yep, this is what I worry about. Pre-existing conditions and job loss.
"Under this plan, it will be against the law for insurance companies to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition. As soon as I sign this bill, it will be against the law for insurance companies to drop your coverage when you get sick or water it down when you need it most."
Okay, this is something I want to see . . . I think. A little clarification might be nice, though. But it sounds like something I think we need.
"We will place a limit on how much you can be charged for out-of-pocket expenses, because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they get sick."
I think I disagree with this. People should be allowed to take higher deductibles and pay more out of pocket if they choose. A person can reasonably save $20K in their life, and choose to take a $20K deductible to lower their health insurance costs. A person who works hard might be able to save $100K, and some people would rather depend on home equity they've built up than pay for a low-deductible plan. There should not be such a limit, IMO.
"And insurance companies will be required to cover, with no extra charge, routine checkups and preventive care, like mammograms and colonoscopies – because there's no reason we shouldn't be catching diseases like breast cancer and colon cancer before they get worse. That makes sense, it saves money, and it saves lives."
"With no extra charge" worries me. Are they saying that insurance companies shouldn't be reimbursed for this care? That doesn't make sense to me. But I do want to see incentives of SOME kind for people to get preventative care, so this might be something I agree with . . . more clarification is needed.
"the second part of this plan will finally offer you quality, affordable choices. . . . We will do this by creating a new insurance exchange – a marketplace where individuals and small businesses will be able to shop for health insurance at competitive prices."
How is this different from eHealthInsurance.com? That's what we used to shop around for competitively priced insurance. And it worked GREAT for us! I guess I don't see why the government is doing this, what it is adding. Visibility of choice, at least, I guess. There is something to be said for that.
"In the meantime, for those Americans who can't get insurance today because they have pre-existing medical conditions, we will immediately offer low-cost coverage that will protect you against financial ruin if you become seriously ill. This was a good idea when Senator John McCain proposed it in the campaign, it's a good idea now, and we should embrace it."
A public option for catastrophic care? Is that what this is? If so, I support it whole-heartedly. And also if it is just for those w/ pre-existing conditions.
"That's why under my plan, individuals will be required to carry basic health insurance – just as most states require you to carry auto insurance."
I call bullshit. I don't think a single state has this requirement. I know lots of people who don't carry auto-insurance. The consequence, of course, is that they aren't legally allowed to drive - but there is a way to avoid it. I have used this option in the past to save money. I know people who never bothered to get their license. Sorry, the analogy proves your opponents' points.
Also, what is the definiton of "basic" health isurance? Catasrophic + preventative care makes more sense. Anything else should NOT be required for sure - there are ways to handle more normal expenses, like savings. And we need to be careful not to over-cover care so that market forces continue to apply.
"And one more misunderstanding I want to clear up – under our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions, and federal conscience laws will remain in place."
This had better be true.
"But an additional step we can take to keep insurance companies honest is by making a not-for-profit public option available in the insurance exchange."
I support this, with some misgivings.
"based on Congressional Budget Office estimates, we believe that less than 5% of Americans would sign up."
I find this plausible. I really don't know that a public option would be able to offer anything better than a private option - unless it's subsidized (duh duh duhhhhhh).
"[Insurance companies] argue that these private companies can't fairly compete with the government. And they'd be right if taxpayers were subsidizing this public insurance option. But they won't be. I have insisted that like any private insurance company, the public insurance option would have to be self-sufficient and rely on the premiums it collects."
Yep, I support this. That's my main misgiving.
"And if we are able to slow the growth of health care costs by just one-tenth of one percent each year, it will actually reduce the deficit by $4 trillion over the long term."
Boy, "the long term" - is that ever vague! Ten years? One hundred? Infinity, approaching 4 trillion as an asymptote?
Hrm . . . other than mandated health insurance and possibly limits on out-of-pocket expenses, it actually sounds pretty good to me. I really don't like the insurance mandate, unless it's basically catastrophic care and maybe a little preventative care that gets insured, but I do want to see a non-subsidized public option. And I don't believe we're going to get all this for free, either.
"Others are self-employed, and can't afford it, since buying insurance on your own costs you three times as much as the coverage you get from your employer."
If you are lucky. We found that buying coverage on our own was cheaper for at least my husband and daughters, and these days I'm wondering if there might have been a cheaper option for me as well. But I can accept this as an average.
"More and more Americans worry that if you move, lose your job, or change your job, you'll lose your health insurance too. More and more Americans pay their premiums, only to discover that their insurance company has dropped their coverage when they get sick, or won't pay the full cost of care."
Yep, this is what I worry about. Pre-existing conditions and job loss.
"Under this plan, it will be against the law for insurance companies to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition. As soon as I sign this bill, it will be against the law for insurance companies to drop your coverage when you get sick or water it down when you need it most."
Okay, this is something I want to see . . . I think. A little clarification might be nice, though. But it sounds like something I think we need.
"We will place a limit on how much you can be charged for out-of-pocket expenses, because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they get sick."
I think I disagree with this. People should be allowed to take higher deductibles and pay more out of pocket if they choose. A person can reasonably save $20K in their life, and choose to take a $20K deductible to lower their health insurance costs. A person who works hard might be able to save $100K, and some people would rather depend on home equity they've built up than pay for a low-deductible plan. There should not be such a limit, IMO.
"And insurance companies will be required to cover, with no extra charge, routine checkups and preventive care, like mammograms and colonoscopies – because there's no reason we shouldn't be catching diseases like breast cancer and colon cancer before they get worse. That makes sense, it saves money, and it saves lives."
"With no extra charge" worries me. Are they saying that insurance companies shouldn't be reimbursed for this care? That doesn't make sense to me. But I do want to see incentives of SOME kind for people to get preventative care, so this might be something I agree with . . . more clarification is needed.
"the second part of this plan will finally offer you quality, affordable choices. . . . We will do this by creating a new insurance exchange – a marketplace where individuals and small businesses will be able to shop for health insurance at competitive prices."
How is this different from eHealthInsurance.com? That's what we used to shop around for competitively priced insurance. And it worked GREAT for us! I guess I don't see why the government is doing this, what it is adding. Visibility of choice, at least, I guess. There is something to be said for that.
"In the meantime, for those Americans who can't get insurance today because they have pre-existing medical conditions, we will immediately offer low-cost coverage that will protect you against financial ruin if you become seriously ill. This was a good idea when Senator John McCain proposed it in the campaign, it's a good idea now, and we should embrace it."
A public option for catastrophic care? Is that what this is? If so, I support it whole-heartedly. And also if it is just for those w/ pre-existing conditions.
"That's why under my plan, individuals will be required to carry basic health insurance – just as most states require you to carry auto insurance."
I call bullshit. I don't think a single state has this requirement. I know lots of people who don't carry auto-insurance. The consequence, of course, is that they aren't legally allowed to drive - but there is a way to avoid it. I have used this option in the past to save money. I know people who never bothered to get their license. Sorry, the analogy proves your opponents' points.
Also, what is the definiton of "basic" health isurance? Catasrophic + preventative care makes more sense. Anything else should NOT be required for sure - there are ways to handle more normal expenses, like savings. And we need to be careful not to over-cover care so that market forces continue to apply.
"And one more misunderstanding I want to clear up – under our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions, and federal conscience laws will remain in place."
This had better be true.
"But an additional step we can take to keep insurance companies honest is by making a not-for-profit public option available in the insurance exchange."
I support this, with some misgivings.
"based on Congressional Budget Office estimates, we believe that less than 5% of Americans would sign up."
I find this plausible. I really don't know that a public option would be able to offer anything better than a private option - unless it's subsidized (duh duh duhhhhhh).
"[Insurance companies] argue that these private companies can't fairly compete with the government. And they'd be right if taxpayers were subsidizing this public insurance option. But they won't be. I have insisted that like any private insurance company, the public insurance option would have to be self-sufficient and rely on the premiums it collects."
Yep, I support this. That's my main misgiving.
"And if we are able to slow the growth of health care costs by just one-tenth of one percent each year, it will actually reduce the deficit by $4 trillion over the long term."
Boy, "the long term" - is that ever vague! Ten years? One hundred? Infinity, approaching 4 trillion as an asymptote?
Hrm . . . other than mandated health insurance and possibly limits on out-of-pocket expenses, it actually sounds pretty good to me. I really don't like the insurance mandate, unless it's basically catastrophic care and maybe a little preventative care that gets insured, but I do want to see a non-subsidized public option. And I don't believe we're going to get all this for free, either.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Home Loan Modification is still possible!
We applied for a "Making Homes Affordable" home loan modification last June. This is the program where they will give you an obscenely low interest rate and stretch the term of your mortgage loan in order to bring your payments down to 38% of your income, if you meet certain qualifications like at least a 10% decrease in income during the last year. It's designed to keep people from going into foreclosure because of the economy affecting both income and the value of their homes.
Today I called about trying to avoid a late fee and get back on track with our mortgage payments. Tons of car repairs and missed work in the last few months caused us to eat through our emergency budget and then fall behind on mortgage payments. While we were talking, he asked about this program and I said that we applied, but never heard back and that it sounded like our situation was too bad to qualify. He assured me that this didn't make sense, took a look at our file, and found that they had made some mistakes about the requirements and never notified us that we needed to send some more paperwork before our case could be reviewed!
To be reviewed properly for the Home Modification, we need to gather some documents and fax them. Getting the modification will have the following effects for us:
(1) Our mortgage payment will be decreased by about $1K per month
(2) We will pay far less interest over the lifetime of our loan
(3) The length of our loan will likely be extended somewhat (assuming we don't pay ahead)
(4) Our credit score will be damaged (I guess we'd better get debt-free so that doesn't matter!)
(5) We will need to attend debt counseling, which we can probably get for free from the HUD. It will be a bit of a hassle to arrange and attend, but it's a sensible requirement and we'll undoubtedly be able to make good use of the counseling time.
(6) Our "realistic worst case" scenario goes from missing 2 to 3 housing payments over the next year (when my contract ends and I can't work at MS for 100 days) to being able to save ahead so that we have what we need to at least break even during that period. The "realistic worst case" scenario, BTW, is that I finish my contract and DH still isn't working, I get unemployment for 100 days without finding another job, and then return to my old job at the same pay. This is what we assume the future will look like when planning and budgeting. Odds are that things will actually work out better than this, but we aren't counting on it.
So the Home Loan Modification isn't without a downside, but it's a very useful tool for where we are right now.
Today I called about trying to avoid a late fee and get back on track with our mortgage payments. Tons of car repairs and missed work in the last few months caused us to eat through our emergency budget and then fall behind on mortgage payments. While we were talking, he asked about this program and I said that we applied, but never heard back and that it sounded like our situation was too bad to qualify. He assured me that this didn't make sense, took a look at our file, and found that they had made some mistakes about the requirements and never notified us that we needed to send some more paperwork before our case could be reviewed!
To be reviewed properly for the Home Modification, we need to gather some documents and fax them. Getting the modification will have the following effects for us:
(1) Our mortgage payment will be decreased by about $1K per month
(2) We will pay far less interest over the lifetime of our loan
(3) The length of our loan will likely be extended somewhat (assuming we don't pay ahead)
(4) Our credit score will be damaged (I guess we'd better get debt-free so that doesn't matter!)
(5) We will need to attend debt counseling, which we can probably get for free from the HUD. It will be a bit of a hassle to arrange and attend, but it's a sensible requirement and we'll undoubtedly be able to make good use of the counseling time.
(6) Our "realistic worst case" scenario goes from missing 2 to 3 housing payments over the next year (when my contract ends and I can't work at MS for 100 days) to being able to save ahead so that we have what we need to at least break even during that period. The "realistic worst case" scenario, BTW, is that I finish my contract and DH still isn't working, I get unemployment for 100 days without finding another job, and then return to my old job at the same pay. This is what we assume the future will look like when planning and budgeting. Odds are that things will actually work out better than this, but we aren't counting on it.
So the Home Loan Modification isn't without a downside, but it's a very useful tool for where we are right now.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Jobs - wouldn't it be great?
It's no secret I want to work less and stay home more. DH likes this idea too, except for the reality that we haven't yet figured out a realistic way to afford it.
I'm wondering more and more if we could possibly pull off something clever with contract work long-term, so that I spend 6 months at home and DH spends 3 months at home each year, with 3 months where we both work and the children are in care - sort of a reverse-summer-break.
This would actually work as a two-year cycle to maximize the time DH and I can spend at each job. In other words, DH would work for 18 months straight and I would work for 1 year straight, with three months of overlap at each end.
A plan like this has a number of hang-ups, and I've already thought of probably 90% of them and come up with decent solutions for most that I've thought of, with ease. However, there is one thing that absolutely must be in place before we deliberately attempt this, something that I am less sure how to handle:
Debt-free with three to six months expenses in the bank.
This is where this plan gets tough. A plan like the one I described has significant financial risk every three to six months, and we MUST have some buffer space! To get this, DH and I will need to work simultaneously for roughly two years netting $20K per year above our non-debt expenses before we can even start (obviously, we're not including mortgage debt here!). There are other ideas, but none that we can count on (e.g., start a business netting $20 to 30 K a year; have one of us work nights consistently; and so on). Even having us both work has a number of variables we can't control, like that DH has been looking for work for 8 months with no luck already and that childcare could eat through his income if hours don't work out.
Could we handle it? Is it worth it to put our kids in childcare for two years? Is there another way to get these $$?
I'm wondering more and more if we could possibly pull off something clever with contract work long-term, so that I spend 6 months at home and DH spends 3 months at home each year, with 3 months where we both work and the children are in care - sort of a reverse-summer-break.
This would actually work as a two-year cycle to maximize the time DH and I can spend at each job. In other words, DH would work for 18 months straight and I would work for 1 year straight, with three months of overlap at each end.
A plan like this has a number of hang-ups, and I've already thought of probably 90% of them and come up with decent solutions for most that I've thought of, with ease. However, there is one thing that absolutely must be in place before we deliberately attempt this, something that I am less sure how to handle:
Debt-free with three to six months expenses in the bank.
This is where this plan gets tough. A plan like the one I described has significant financial risk every three to six months, and we MUST have some buffer space! To get this, DH and I will need to work simultaneously for roughly two years netting $20K per year above our non-debt expenses before we can even start (obviously, we're not including mortgage debt here!). There are other ideas, but none that we can count on (e.g., start a business netting $20 to 30 K a year; have one of us work nights consistently; and so on). Even having us both work has a number of variables we can't control, like that DH has been looking for work for 8 months with no luck already and that childcare could eat through his income if hours don't work out.
Could we handle it? Is it worth it to put our kids in childcare for two years? Is there another way to get these $$?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Garden and landscaping plans
I think we have about 4 more hours of work before we have a useable sandbox, plus maybe 2 hours of finishing touches that can be done once we see how the sadbox works as-is when we first unveil it. The other projects I'd like to do are:
My garden plans for next spring are really starting to gel. The hardest part is trying to plan for simplicity during what are normally the busiest months for gardeners, when the baby will arrive and I will still be working full-time. I'd be a fool to think I'll be getting more than 30 minutes a week to garden, so my plans have to be streamlined during that phase.
I'm going to put in peas to the east of the patio, in the kitchen garden, and runner beans to the south. The peas were easily the most effortless thing I grew last year, so I should have no trouble planting them. I'm hoping runner beans will be just as easy. In front of the peas, I want to put in peppers and onions, and maybe garlic. Hopefully the pond-garden will be done, and I can put tomatoes there, but if not then I will have to fit them in the kitchen garden with the peppers. It'll be a regular salsa garden!
Finally, I'm going to make a real effort to get in an herb container garden next year. I can do a lot of the prep work this year by getting the pots and soil ready to go, so I just need to start the seedlings and pop them in!
I have dreams of chard, kale, carrots, potatoes, artichokes, asparagus, raspberries, blackberries, and more. I might try one or two of these if I finish the pond garden, but otherwise I think I need to just accept that those things will have to wait until I am a bit more prepared and experienced, and not quite so busy.
- Setting up a small raised garden near where we park the car, and transplanting the roses there (I have two that seem like climbers), with a trellis or arbor for them to grow over. I'm thinking this would also be a good place for lavendar, rosemary, and thyme.
- Removing at least the west 1/3rd of the front yard and planting Sunshine Blueberry plants (only grow to about 2 feet) and strawberries (should be a good groundcover companion plant). If I have time, I'd like to clear out the rest of the grass as well and throw in a rhubarb and maybe some red huckleberries . . . not sure what else would grow there, it doesn't get a lot of sun.
- Clearing out the middle pond, filling it with good garden dirt, and turning it into a lovely new garden patch.
- Getting a grate to cover the smallest pond with, so we can keep it as a holding pond without worrying about kids falling in.
- Removing a number of dead plants that were killed by those strong frosts last winter, so their space can be planted again. I'll possibly also remove a number of ornamental trees that are in the way or blocking light. I don't really like ornamental plants that much. It's probably my engineer nature - I prefer a combination of form and function, with function being slightly more important.
- A bunch of smaller wants, like putting in red huckleberries and weeding the edge of the future garden pond.
- I don't really expect to get to this, but perhaps next summer I want to put in a large French-drain system with flagstones (so it doubles as a path) through the swamp that develops in winter and spring near the picinc table, and extend the raised beds out to the edges of that drain to get more growing space and less flooding space. Hopefully we can engineer the drains to empty into the holding pond.
- Another "probably next year" item is making one giant raised bed back behind the shed.
- Another thing for next year is turning part of the shed into a playhouse for the girls. I was going to do that this summer, but making the ponds safe seemed more important when I actually got to work. Mainly, it needs to be treated for mildew, and I'd like to repaint it.
- Future dreams also include raising chickens to one side of the shed, and putting together a fancy playground for the kids with a slide, swings, and all that stuff. I'm not sure how realistic either of these is, but I'd love to be able to do both.
My garden plans for next spring are really starting to gel. The hardest part is trying to plan for simplicity during what are normally the busiest months for gardeners, when the baby will arrive and I will still be working full-time. I'd be a fool to think I'll be getting more than 30 minutes a week to garden, so my plans have to be streamlined during that phase.
I'm going to put in peas to the east of the patio, in the kitchen garden, and runner beans to the south. The peas were easily the most effortless thing I grew last year, so I should have no trouble planting them. I'm hoping runner beans will be just as easy. In front of the peas, I want to put in peppers and onions, and maybe garlic. Hopefully the pond-garden will be done, and I can put tomatoes there, but if not then I will have to fit them in the kitchen garden with the peppers. It'll be a regular salsa garden!
Finally, I'm going to make a real effort to get in an herb container garden next year. I can do a lot of the prep work this year by getting the pots and soil ready to go, so I just need to start the seedlings and pop them in!
I have dreams of chard, kale, carrots, potatoes, artichokes, asparagus, raspberries, blackberries, and more. I might try one or two of these if I finish the pond garden, but otherwise I think I need to just accept that those things will have to wait until I am a bit more prepared and experienced, and not quite so busy.
Looks like I'm going to be blogging again, eventually
I think I'm going to start another blog again . . . but I want to be a lot more prepared this time around, so I probably won't start publishing for months. It might be 2010 before I get going.
I got some definite interest from one Catholic forum on the idea of creating resources for Catholic WOHMs. However, it wasn't quite overwhelming enough for me to want to make this a priority and declare it a clear vocation. This subject is important enough to me that I want to spend more time thinking about it and seeing what I can come up with, but I want to approach it very much in a "We'll see how it goes" fashion, with the recognition that this attitude means that I may never make any meaningful progress.
I'm thinking that the blog won't be geared towards just WOHMs. This is because I want to learn from SAHMs. They already have done a lot to discern about living Catholic daily lives when busy, figuring out how to support each other as women and mothers, and are able to balance different styles without demeaning each other.
Another reason to write for SAHMs as well is to make sure that I can speak to WOHMs without demeaning mothers who are home with their children full-time, many of whom have sacrificed to do this. Also, I want to send a clear message that the "Mommy Wars" aren't necessary and aren't Catholic. They are a construct of society. The goal of all Catholic mothers should be to serve their God, their families, and their community. For some women, they will need to be employed to do this to the fullest, giving to their families indirectly through their paychecks. For others, they will need to stay home and give more of themselves directly to their family.
My thought for a blog name is "Mary and Gianna" - as in, Mother Mary and St. Gianna. I think these women encapsulate the essence of the "employed vs. at-home" mother 'debate' as it should be framed by Catholics. Clearly Mary is the perfect woman, who served God in an especially feminine and fulfilling way by mothering Jesus with her entire life. Yet St. Gianna was called by God to serve in a very different way despite also being a mother, by serving her community through her employment as well until the birth of her fourth child (and her subsequent death). It is difficult to find much information about St. Gianna's work-life balance, sadly (I'm hoping her love letters will give me some clues), but the Vatican posts on their website that, "With simplicity and equilibrium she harmonized the demands of mother, wife, doctor and her passion for life."
I think this expresses a healthy philosophy - that mothers who dedicate their lives to their children, especially during the early years, fulfill a special vision of feminine and maternal virtue that is shown most clearly and beautifully in the Mother of Our Lord. However, this does not mean that this is the only path to feminine, maternal virtue! Employed mothers need to find ways to serve God, family, and community that may not be the same as mothers who are able to be in the home and community more, rather than in a workplace. In discerning these ways we can serve, we can draw from church teachings on women, motherhood, and labor, and also from fathers and other men who have been combining holiness and employment as the normal way of life for so long.
I won't be able to put much energy into this until at least autumn. I really want to get a few more big projects done in the yard, mostly filling up or covering the old ponds so they aren't a safety hazard (kids playing outside unaccompanied - yay!).
I got some definite interest from one Catholic forum on the idea of creating resources for Catholic WOHMs. However, it wasn't quite overwhelming enough for me to want to make this a priority and declare it a clear vocation. This subject is important enough to me that I want to spend more time thinking about it and seeing what I can come up with, but I want to approach it very much in a "We'll see how it goes" fashion, with the recognition that this attitude means that I may never make any meaningful progress.
I'm thinking that the blog won't be geared towards just WOHMs. This is because I want to learn from SAHMs. They already have done a lot to discern about living Catholic daily lives when busy, figuring out how to support each other as women and mothers, and are able to balance different styles without demeaning each other.
Another reason to write for SAHMs as well is to make sure that I can speak to WOHMs without demeaning mothers who are home with their children full-time, many of whom have sacrificed to do this. Also, I want to send a clear message that the "Mommy Wars" aren't necessary and aren't Catholic. They are a construct of society. The goal of all Catholic mothers should be to serve their God, their families, and their community. For some women, they will need to be employed to do this to the fullest, giving to their families indirectly through their paychecks. For others, they will need to stay home and give more of themselves directly to their family.
My thought for a blog name is "Mary and Gianna" - as in, Mother Mary and St. Gianna. I think these women encapsulate the essence of the "employed vs. at-home" mother 'debate' as it should be framed by Catholics. Clearly Mary is the perfect woman, who served God in an especially feminine and fulfilling way by mothering Jesus with her entire life. Yet St. Gianna was called by God to serve in a very different way despite also being a mother, by serving her community through her employment as well until the birth of her fourth child (and her subsequent death). It is difficult to find much information about St. Gianna's work-life balance, sadly (I'm hoping her love letters will give me some clues), but the Vatican posts on their website that, "With simplicity and equilibrium she harmonized the demands of mother, wife, doctor and her passion for life."
I think this expresses a healthy philosophy - that mothers who dedicate their lives to their children, especially during the early years, fulfill a special vision of feminine and maternal virtue that is shown most clearly and beautifully in the Mother of Our Lord. However, this does not mean that this is the only path to feminine, maternal virtue! Employed mothers need to find ways to serve God, family, and community that may not be the same as mothers who are able to be in the home and community more, rather than in a workplace. In discerning these ways we can serve, we can draw from church teachings on women, motherhood, and labor, and also from fathers and other men who have been combining holiness and employment as the normal way of life for so long.
I won't be able to put much energy into this until at least autumn. I really want to get a few more big projects done in the yard, mostly filling up or covering the old ponds so they aren't a safety hazard (kids playing outside unaccompanied - yay!).
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
First step on "being the change" has been taken.
I just threw a post up on a Catholic forum asking other employed mothers if they wanted something like the support for SAHMs from a Catholic perspective. If I get good responses, I'll probably post around in a few other places to see if the good response is consistent. I threw it up about ten minutes ago, and already have about three replies, so that's a good sign :)
If there is enough interest, I'll probably kick off a blog on the topic as a low-commitment way to gauge further the interest in such a project, to gauge my own ability to commit to such a project on top of everything else (very important to know!), to practice writing on the topic, to build community, and to start storing up a collection of links, articles, and research that maybe could later go into a book on the subject.
If there is enough interest, I'll probably kick off a blog on the topic as a low-commitment way to gauge further the interest in such a project, to gauge my own ability to commit to such a project on top of everything else (very important to know!), to practice writing on the topic, to build community, and to start storing up a collection of links, articles, and research that maybe could later go into a book on the subject.
What does the Catholic church say about WOHMs?
I love the way the Catholic church and its members support SAHMs, especially in the face of secular attitudes towards feminism and motherhood. I love the way it validates, uplifts, and upholds their work as the fulfillment of feminine virtue.
What I don't love is the resounding near-silence from most of the church and its members when it comes to employed moms. It's not that employed moms should be treated as an "alternate ideal", because there are good, sound reasons for mothers to generally be more involved with home life and less involved with employed life, while fathers take the opposite path in general. Yet so many mothers are employed, and many for good reasons, while the amount of support for these mothers from the church is very small. I ache every time I read one of the many wonderful articles or reviews of books written to support SAHMs, or hear about a great program like "Mary and Martha" that helps women discover their path to follow Christ in their homes, not because I resent them, but because I feel the same need for guidance that those mothers must feel - but don't get these wonderful, considerate answers that they do.
There is a saying: Be the change you want to see in the world. I'm trying to figure out if I can do this, somehow. Could I do something to give mothers like mea sense of community and holiness in their lives? Do other mothers even feel this want the way I do, or am I just different somehow? If it's not just me, can I do this in a way that does not diminish the virtues and work of SAHMs, but rather ties together motherly virtue and the workplace in such a way that WOHMs feel united with our sisters in Christ who serve their families in the homes? Can the rich advice and abundant guides to holiness for SAHMs, combined with church teachings on daily labor, give employed mothers a guide to living the virtues they've been given with the life that they've been given, so we don't feel excluded from the blessings of church community by the circumstances that lead to our employment outside the home?
I think that such a philosophy would flow quite naturally from church teachings, when those teachings are closely examined by anyone with personal experience in this area. And I want to know what this philosophy would look like. Surely there is information available. There have been saints who have pursued daily work while living holy lives, most pertinently St. Gianna. Nor can I believe that the church does not speak to the many men who labor for their families - surely many principles that apply to these men will apply to many women as well.
At the same time, such a task would be daunting at a time when there is so much else happening in my life. It would take research, interviews, networking, lots of thought, analysis of other women's needs, consideration of my own biases, community building, and so much more. Some of these tasks suit my introverted, analytical nature - but many would require me to step well outside of my comfort zone, asking for help and support from people I may admire or consider better than myself to complete this project, and interacting with many strangers over a potentially very personal topic.
I also expect that this would be less a situation of philosophy formation than of discovery. I think the answers are already out there, just buried under controversy and confusion arising from "Mommy Wars", radical feminism, and secular voices that praise employed mothers for all the wrong reasons. These are real controversies, but I firmly believe that they result from confusion, rather than from any real opposition - and "the truth will set you free." I want to uncover the hidden message of what God's revelation means for the employed mother's daily life, so we can enjoy the same rich meaning that I see in the lives of SAHMs.
What I don't love is the resounding near-silence from most of the church and its members when it comes to employed moms. It's not that employed moms should be treated as an "alternate ideal", because there are good, sound reasons for mothers to generally be more involved with home life and less involved with employed life, while fathers take the opposite path in general. Yet so many mothers are employed, and many for good reasons, while the amount of support for these mothers from the church is very small. I ache every time I read one of the many wonderful articles or reviews of books written to support SAHMs, or hear about a great program like "Mary and Martha" that helps women discover their path to follow Christ in their homes, not because I resent them, but because I feel the same need for guidance that those mothers must feel - but don't get these wonderful, considerate answers that they do.
There is a saying: Be the change you want to see in the world. I'm trying to figure out if I can do this, somehow. Could I do something to give mothers like mea sense of community and holiness in their lives? Do other mothers even feel this want the way I do, or am I just different somehow? If it's not just me, can I do this in a way that does not diminish the virtues and work of SAHMs, but rather ties together motherly virtue and the workplace in such a way that WOHMs feel united with our sisters in Christ who serve their families in the homes? Can the rich advice and abundant guides to holiness for SAHMs, combined with church teachings on daily labor, give employed mothers a guide to living the virtues they've been given with the life that they've been given, so we don't feel excluded from the blessings of church community by the circumstances that lead to our employment outside the home?
I think that such a philosophy would flow quite naturally from church teachings, when those teachings are closely examined by anyone with personal experience in this area. And I want to know what this philosophy would look like. Surely there is information available. There have been saints who have pursued daily work while living holy lives, most pertinently St. Gianna. Nor can I believe that the church does not speak to the many men who labor for their families - surely many principles that apply to these men will apply to many women as well.
At the same time, such a task would be daunting at a time when there is so much else happening in my life. It would take research, interviews, networking, lots of thought, analysis of other women's needs, consideration of my own biases, community building, and so much more. Some of these tasks suit my introverted, analytical nature - but many would require me to step well outside of my comfort zone, asking for help and support from people I may admire or consider better than myself to complete this project, and interacting with many strangers over a potentially very personal topic.
I also expect that this would be less a situation of philosophy formation than of discovery. I think the answers are already out there, just buried under controversy and confusion arising from "Mommy Wars", radical feminism, and secular voices that praise employed mothers for all the wrong reasons. These are real controversies, but I firmly believe that they result from confusion, rather than from any real opposition - and "the truth will set you free." I want to uncover the hidden message of what God's revelation means for the employed mother's daily life, so we can enjoy the same rich meaning that I see in the lives of SAHMs.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Baby!
Okay, I haven't gotten around to blogging about our new family member yet, and the first trimester is already almost over! Our baby's birth is expected in early February. The due date is January 22nd, but my family has a "tradition" of staying pregnant until at least 42 weeks, when they are induced or schedule a surgery.
Unfortunately, the Evergreen midwives (whom I received prenatal care from with my twins, until the cord was discovered to be presenting and I needed a C-section) are not an option for the birth. I will be attempting a VBAC, and the Evergreen midwives have a policy of scheduling a C-section for 41 weeks if you don't go into labor first as a VBAC. There's no good medical reason - they do it to avoid liability risks.
I'm trying to transfer my care to Dr. Dana Blackham, who really impressed me during our meet-and-greet with his transparency, knowledge, and interest in my input. Plus, his "late baby VBAC policy" allows for going to 43 weeks or even slightly later with regular ultrasounds and stress tests after 42 weeks (to detect post-maturity syndrome, I presume). Since a late baby is normal in my family, this was a good sign. He also didn't freak out about the idea of a VBAC with a 9-pound baby - and large babies are another family tradition, large even for late babies by a good half pound.
I also need to find a doula, which I haven't yet put much work into. I'd like to find someone who can not only support me & DH in the normal ways, by suggesting ways to cope with labor, but who can also support my faith. I want very much for my birth to be a chance for spiritual growth rather than just a situation to be endured. I don't know how realistic that is, having never been in labor, and I might be naive about being able to gain strength from prayer while, say, going through the transition phase - but I also know that when I get a strong "gut feeling" like this, it's usually worth checking out and putting some effort into. I don't object at all to people laughing at me if I throw the Rosary beads at the doula and beg for an epidural when push comes to shove . . . so to speak.
The girls are excited about the baby, although I think the idea is still a bit abstract for them. They know the baby will be here about one month after Christmas, so they get that there is a wait involved. We'll probably make a "baby advent calendar" from Christmas until a few weeks after the due date, to help them understand the timeline.
DH is also starting to show some signs of excitement, which is a big step. This baby wasn't exactly a surprise, but wasn't exactly planned either. I've been wanting to get pregnant again for about a year and a half, so I had few problems adjusting when our lazy attempts at avoiding pregnancy "failed". DH is in a different position, though. I will say that we both relaxed a lot once we learned that there was only one baby to prepare for, as twins would have devastating implications for our budget. It's not that babies are expensive (they aren't), but twin pregnancy and birth would highly impact my ability to earn an income. Our expenses can't go much lower than they are, since we are upside-down on our mortgage and can't sell the house. We could trim off maybe another $30 a month if we invested several hours a week, but at that point we're better off making sure I stay healthy and don't miss work with that time. It's just a better investment to keep me from missing a day and losing $200+ in income.
I need to write another post about car-buying, and another post about the cool home-improvement stuff I've been up to this last weekend, plus should also tell about our wonderful 4th of July - which, to me, really seemed like something out of a storybook, the stuff nostalgia is made of.
Honestly, the financial stress and what-ifs have been a constant annoyance - but overall, I really feel like my life since getting fired from MS has been quite blessed. It's not exactly because I was fired, although getting rid of the bad history at that job and getting lots of time with my children (who desperately needed an attentive parent by that point) really did help everyone get their feet back on the ground.
Pregnancy has also been a great blessing. I really don't take good enough care of myself normally, whether because I'm busy and too much depends on me, or I'm trying to save money, or whatever. Pregnancy forces me to give greater weight to my own health, both because of the increased frailty of my health and because the baby's health is dependent upon my own. The net result is better work-life balance, and I actually get more done than usual at home and work, while still being fairly available to the kids. A lot of this is because I lean more on DH, and find that DH is also strengthened by the challenge of providing for this baby so that he is more available than normal. He was an amazing father during and after my first pregnancy, and I can see him finding his way back into that role again during this pregnancy.
Unfortunately, the Evergreen midwives (whom I received prenatal care from with my twins, until the cord was discovered to be presenting and I needed a C-section) are not an option for the birth. I will be attempting a VBAC, and the Evergreen midwives have a policy of scheduling a C-section for 41 weeks if you don't go into labor first as a VBAC. There's no good medical reason - they do it to avoid liability risks.
I'm trying to transfer my care to Dr. Dana Blackham, who really impressed me during our meet-and-greet with his transparency, knowledge, and interest in my input. Plus, his "late baby VBAC policy" allows for going to 43 weeks or even slightly later with regular ultrasounds and stress tests after 42 weeks (to detect post-maturity syndrome, I presume). Since a late baby is normal in my family, this was a good sign. He also didn't freak out about the idea of a VBAC with a 9-pound baby - and large babies are another family tradition, large even for late babies by a good half pound.
I also need to find a doula, which I haven't yet put much work into. I'd like to find someone who can not only support me & DH in the normal ways, by suggesting ways to cope with labor, but who can also support my faith. I want very much for my birth to be a chance for spiritual growth rather than just a situation to be endured. I don't know how realistic that is, having never been in labor, and I might be naive about being able to gain strength from prayer while, say, going through the transition phase - but I also know that when I get a strong "gut feeling" like this, it's usually worth checking out and putting some effort into. I don't object at all to people laughing at me if I throw the Rosary beads at the doula and beg for an epidural when push comes to shove . . . so to speak.
The girls are excited about the baby, although I think the idea is still a bit abstract for them. They know the baby will be here about one month after Christmas, so they get that there is a wait involved. We'll probably make a "baby advent calendar" from Christmas until a few weeks after the due date, to help them understand the timeline.
DH is also starting to show some signs of excitement, which is a big step. This baby wasn't exactly a surprise, but wasn't exactly planned either. I've been wanting to get pregnant again for about a year and a half, so I had few problems adjusting when our lazy attempts at avoiding pregnancy "failed". DH is in a different position, though. I will say that we both relaxed a lot once we learned that there was only one baby to prepare for, as twins would have devastating implications for our budget. It's not that babies are expensive (they aren't), but twin pregnancy and birth would highly impact my ability to earn an income. Our expenses can't go much lower than they are, since we are upside-down on our mortgage and can't sell the house. We could trim off maybe another $30 a month if we invested several hours a week, but at that point we're better off making sure I stay healthy and don't miss work with that time. It's just a better investment to keep me from missing a day and losing $200+ in income.
I need to write another post about car-buying, and another post about the cool home-improvement stuff I've been up to this last weekend, plus should also tell about our wonderful 4th of July - which, to me, really seemed like something out of a storybook, the stuff nostalgia is made of.
Honestly, the financial stress and what-ifs have been a constant annoyance - but overall, I really feel like my life since getting fired from MS has been quite blessed. It's not exactly because I was fired, although getting rid of the bad history at that job and getting lots of time with my children (who desperately needed an attentive parent by that point) really did help everyone get their feet back on the ground.
Pregnancy has also been a great blessing. I really don't take good enough care of myself normally, whether because I'm busy and too much depends on me, or I'm trying to save money, or whatever. Pregnancy forces me to give greater weight to my own health, both because of the increased frailty of my health and because the baby's health is dependent upon my own. The net result is better work-life balance, and I actually get more done than usual at home and work, while still being fairly available to the kids. A lot of this is because I lean more on DH, and find that DH is also strengthened by the challenge of providing for this baby so that he is more available than normal. He was an amazing father during and after my first pregnancy, and I can see him finding his way back into that role again during this pregnancy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Gardening rocks
Gardening is really starting to grow on me (pun intended ;) Let's see, I have peas coming in - not quite as fast as I want, I may have to plant more next year. Strawberries are just starting - thanks to the Weibers for the plants they gave us last year, which each have about a dozen berries or more this year! The tomatoes are starting to have little green fruits. We have a couple tiny jalepeno peppers growing. I finally got some lettuce to grow, and just planted some more lettuce seeds - which look like they are sprouting as well! Lots of green onions, too, and a few rainbow chard plants are doing quite nice. I threw in a couple of squash, but am not sure yet how they are taking to their new home.
Next year I definitely want to do more with growing food. I'm going to try and track down some blueberries this autumn for our apparently wet and acidic soil, and have some landscaping plans that will greatly increase the amount of fertile earth for growing yummy stuff. I even found a possible filler material: Yard waste! We have tons of yard waste from weeds I've pulled out, and then we can spend just for the nice soil we'll need on top. The yard waste will probably settle over time and we'll need to add more dirt, but that's okay.
Landscaping plans include breaking down the linings for our emptied fish ponds and turning those into a garden (the big one) and a sand box (the small-but-deep one). I also have big plans for the front yard, but need a little time to polish those off - but part of them is a large strawberry patch. I love strawberries! The back corner area apparently gets pretty good sun, and so I want to put some raised beds in there as well. Plus I'm hoping to cover up all those weeds . . . that place is truly infested! I also want to dig a moat around the table in our yard (which floods in winter right now), and move it to make enough room for a campfire area so we can have cookouts in our own yard. However, I know I'll be happy to just get one or two of these big projects done in the next year or so. Some smaller plans are making some nets out of twine for peas and beans to grow up, starting some seedlings in egg cartons next year (we have lots of those!), setting up more of the pots we got with the house with good dirt (and no weeds) and using them for food, and getting more of the seeds that did well this year and planting even more of them next year.
If I get to stay home or go back to school anytime soon (possibilities for when my contract ends next March), then I want to also get some egg-laying chickens. It'll only take a little work to turn part of our shed into a chicken run - just a little chicken wire, and knocking out one wall to give access to an outdoors area. But I'm not going to try and care for chickens as long as I'm also working full-time.
Next year I definitely want to do more with growing food. I'm going to try and track down some blueberries this autumn for our apparently wet and acidic soil, and have some landscaping plans that will greatly increase the amount of fertile earth for growing yummy stuff. I even found a possible filler material: Yard waste! We have tons of yard waste from weeds I've pulled out, and then we can spend just for the nice soil we'll need on top. The yard waste will probably settle over time and we'll need to add more dirt, but that's okay.
Landscaping plans include breaking down the linings for our emptied fish ponds and turning those into a garden (the big one) and a sand box (the small-but-deep one). I also have big plans for the front yard, but need a little time to polish those off - but part of them is a large strawberry patch. I love strawberries! The back corner area apparently gets pretty good sun, and so I want to put some raised beds in there as well. Plus I'm hoping to cover up all those weeds . . . that place is truly infested! I also want to dig a moat around the table in our yard (which floods in winter right now), and move it to make enough room for a campfire area so we can have cookouts in our own yard. However, I know I'll be happy to just get one or two of these big projects done in the next year or so. Some smaller plans are making some nets out of twine for peas and beans to grow up, starting some seedlings in egg cartons next year (we have lots of those!), setting up more of the pots we got with the house with good dirt (and no weeds) and using them for food, and getting more of the seeds that did well this year and planting even more of them next year.
If I get to stay home or go back to school anytime soon (possibilities for when my contract ends next March), then I want to also get some egg-laying chickens. It'll only take a little work to turn part of our shed into a chicken run - just a little chicken wire, and knocking out one wall to give access to an outdoors area. But I'm not going to try and care for chickens as long as I'm also working full-time.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Article on Evangelism for Introverts
I am very much an introvert. I'm high-energy enough that I can come across as an extrovert, but I actually will get more and more drained the more I interact with a large number of people. I like my "me" time.
So this is the kind of advice I love: Evangelism for Introverts
And as a companion to this article, some great advice I've heard recently: "Let God do the heavy lifting."
So this is the kind of advice I love: Evangelism for Introverts
And as a companion to this article, some great advice I've heard recently: "Let God do the heavy lifting."
Monday, April 20, 2009
DH passed his Network+!
Yes!!!! DH passed his Network+ certfication exam. Now he has something fresh to put on his resume, and can turn his attention to finding work!
Once he recovers from the weekend, that is: We spent the whole weekend watching my sister's kids, first at our house and then at theirs. Three three-year-olds and an eight-year-old (who was very helpful, except that she was sick for part of the weekend).
It was fun. For me. DH really prefers the quiet life, and who can blame him?
Once he recovers from the weekend, that is: We spent the whole weekend watching my sister's kids, first at our house and then at theirs. Three three-year-olds and an eight-year-old (who was very helpful, except that she was sick for part of the weekend).
It was fun. For me. DH really prefers the quiet life, and who can blame him?
Friday, April 10, 2009
Credit unions are neat
I finally started to take advantage of one of the benefits of our credit union: Free financial advising. I am very impressed by how much support we are getting right off of the bat!
I expected a quick, 15-minute conversation that would point us in the right direction and leave us to do the footwork. Instead, they are really taking a look with us at our budget (I had to fill out a long workbook with all the gory details) and then having us track our spending for the next month to make sure these numbers seem accurate - and they provided me with a handy Excel spreadsheet, which saves me the effort of having to make my own. The conversation is mostly over email, which is very convenient for everyone.
This is a big help for me, since it brings out my desire to "show off" in a good way - I want these people to be impressed by how quickly we get out of debt! It's not really all that different from setting up a financial partnership with friends to share finances and keep each other on track, but this way I know we're not inconveniencing anyone. This is these fellows' jobs!
I expected a quick, 15-minute conversation that would point us in the right direction and leave us to do the footwork. Instead, they are really taking a look with us at our budget (I had to fill out a long workbook with all the gory details) and then having us track our spending for the next month to make sure these numbers seem accurate - and they provided me with a handy Excel spreadsheet, which saves me the effort of having to make my own. The conversation is mostly over email, which is very convenient for everyone.
This is a big help for me, since it brings out my desire to "show off" in a good way - I want these people to be impressed by how quickly we get out of debt! It's not really all that different from setting up a financial partnership with friends to share finances and keep each other on track, but this way I know we're not inconveniencing anyone. This is these fellows' jobs!
Girl anecdote
DH and I communicate via IM throughout the day, with me mainly asking him about things weighing on my mind from the "family life" sphere, and him sharing information about how the day is going so I don't feel too disconnected. I get some great stories from him, and here is one of them:
"Iliana and I were having a conversation about not drawing on me
and she was asking very nicely if she could draw an O on various parts of my arm, to which I was saying no.
"And she finally stopped asking if she could draw on me and said instead, "I can draw on you after you say yes. Say yes daddy!""
Since this is my diary, effectively, as much as anything is, it is a good place to record this. Someday I need to collect all the various bits and pieces I've written down and put them together in a book for the girls when they get older. I know that for me, that was even cooler than a scrapbook or photo album (although Flickr gives us that, as well) - my grandmother had a plastic-bound book of all the cute things her kids had said over the years, including my sister and I.
"Iliana and I were having a conversation about not drawing on me
and she was asking very nicely if she could draw an O on various parts of my arm, to which I was saying no.
"And she finally stopped asking if she could draw on me and said instead, "I can draw on you after you say yes. Say yes daddy!""
Since this is my diary, effectively, as much as anything is, it is a good place to record this. Someday I need to collect all the various bits and pieces I've written down and put them together in a book for the girls when they get older. I know that for me, that was even cooler than a scrapbook or photo album (although Flickr gives us that, as well) - my grandmother had a plastic-bound book of all the cute things her kids had said over the years, including my sister and I.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
New debt ticker
I'm stealing another thing from Annaberri's blog - the Debt Ticker! Look to the left side-bar and you'll see ours. It's for non-mortgage debt only, BTW.
We're apparently already 8% of the way over the mountain of debt - mostly due to the unemployment check finally arriving. It filled up our "monthly expenses" account, our $1,000 "emergency funds" account, and then took out one entire (albeit small) credit card's debt and scratched at the edge of one of the two big credit card debts.
We still have yet to see how much we can chisel off each month. At first it will probably be something like 1 to 2%, but we should be able to roll little additional amounts of money into that.
We're apparently already 8% of the way over the mountain of debt - mostly due to the unemployment check finally arriving. It filled up our "monthly expenses" account, our $1,000 "emergency funds" account, and then took out one entire (albeit small) credit card's debt and scratched at the edge of one of the two big credit card debts.
We still have yet to see how much we can chisel off each month. At first it will probably be something like 1 to 2%, but we should be able to roll little additional amounts of money into that.
Things are thawing!
No, I'm not just referring to the warming ground and the shoots of peas coming up in my kitchen garden (much as I am fascinated by them).
I'm talking about the economy. And the fact that DH and I were both just contacted about job opportunities by people we applied to for different positions over a month ago. I told mine I'd be available next March, and DH is probably going to rush out his application today.
Plus, DH just scheduled his Network+ exam. It will be in just over a week. Wow!
I'm talking about the economy. And the fact that DH and I were both just contacted about job opportunities by people we applied to for different positions over a month ago. I told mine I'd be available next March, and DH is probably going to rush out his application today.
Plus, DH just scheduled his Network+ exam. It will be in just over a week. Wow!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Appreciate your breadwinner
Every day that a breadwinner leaves their house, they also leave the belongings that matter most to them in the world - their children and their home - in the hands of their spouse. If you are a SAHP, take a few minutes here to savor the faith and trust that your beloved places in you every workday. It is a daily gesture of respect and honor to you.
Recently, a friend linked this post on how SAHMs are heroes. It is very true, yet for me as a woman, I've heard most of it all before. Except one part.
"I’m always hearing wives refer to their husbands as Heroes. Hero this and Hero that. In particular you hear it when they talk about their husbands going off to work to provide for the families."
This brought tears to my eyes, to realize that there are SAHPs who value their breadwinners so highly. To know that some SAHMs realize how hard it is to walk out that door every morning and put the family behind you as if they weren't the thing you love most in the world, for eight hours every single day - that is very precious, indeed. This may sound strange to you, but I have never heard this sentiment before - that a breadwinner is a hero. I have always heard about how wonderful SAHPs are, how much they do for so little recognition - and I have no doubt that, for most people, this is the society they live in.
But it's not the world I live in. And so, for me, it was a small tragedy when I read the next line, even understanding where it was coming from: "But it’s really bunk. Mothers are the real Heroes."
Of course, the author is, himself, a breadwinner. He probably feels confident that his work is important and necessary for his family. He blithely states later that men like going to work, and that is often true in a sense (for men and women) - yet I suspect that even parents who love their jobs would normally rather do them for, say, just ten hours a week. The other thirty hours or so, we'd rather be home with our families. Daily employment is a sacrifice, for any parent who has their priorities straight. Sardonic Catholic Dad, the author, does have his priorities straight BTW - he was just playing down his role, to lift up and glorify his wife. But his wife is also correct - he is a Hero, too.
Sardonic Catholic Dad is right to tell mothers and SAHPs "don’t feel to sorry for us or put us up on a pedestal". However, the truth is that being a parent requires hard work and sacrifice, regardless of what your role is in the family. Regardless of whether you stay home or work for pay, your spouse is a hero. Love him, honor him, and do something special for him (or her).
Recently, a friend linked this post on how SAHMs are heroes. It is very true, yet for me as a woman, I've heard most of it all before. Except one part.
"I’m always hearing wives refer to their husbands as Heroes. Hero this and Hero that. In particular you hear it when they talk about their husbands going off to work to provide for the families."
This brought tears to my eyes, to realize that there are SAHPs who value their breadwinners so highly. To know that some SAHMs realize how hard it is to walk out that door every morning and put the family behind you as if they weren't the thing you love most in the world, for eight hours every single day - that is very precious, indeed. This may sound strange to you, but I have never heard this sentiment before - that a breadwinner is a hero. I have always heard about how wonderful SAHPs are, how much they do for so little recognition - and I have no doubt that, for most people, this is the society they live in.
But it's not the world I live in. And so, for me, it was a small tragedy when I read the next line, even understanding where it was coming from: "But it’s really bunk. Mothers are the real Heroes."
Of course, the author is, himself, a breadwinner. He probably feels confident that his work is important and necessary for his family. He blithely states later that men like going to work, and that is often true in a sense (for men and women) - yet I suspect that even parents who love their jobs would normally rather do them for, say, just ten hours a week. The other thirty hours or so, we'd rather be home with our families. Daily employment is a sacrifice, for any parent who has their priorities straight. Sardonic Catholic Dad, the author, does have his priorities straight BTW - he was just playing down his role, to lift up and glorify his wife. But his wife is also correct - he is a Hero, too.
Sardonic Catholic Dad is right to tell mothers and SAHPs "don’t feel to sorry for us or put us up on a pedestal". However, the truth is that being a parent requires hard work and sacrifice, regardless of what your role is in the family. Regardless of whether you stay home or work for pay, your spouse is a hero. Love him, honor him, and do something special for him (or her).
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