Lenora likes liver (and Iliana doesn't). Lenora also can sing her entire ABC's, although she sometimes forgets and skips 'N' and "TUVWX' (and instead sings, "Q, R, S, Y and Z"). Today I actually tried a little phonics exercixe on her, using the Dr. Suess ABC book and having the girls echo back words starting with each letter, and then ending the page by having them just make the sound of the letter (so, 'puh, puh, puh' for 'P', or 'mmmmmmm' for 'M'). We started with 'M', and they stayed interested all the way until 'V', when they lost interest because the sound was too tough (and they'd already done about a dozen letters, having great fun - I was amazed!). I don't think Iliana understood the exercise as anything other than fun noises, but Lenora is starting to recognize letters and had that intent manner that tells me she is learning and piecing things together. Once she figures out that those symbols make WORDS, I think she'll learn to read very, very quickly. It's probably a year or more off before she connects those dots - but she's getting a glimmering of it already.
I admit: I want my children to learn to read young. I learned young, and loved it soooo much! I am so excited to be able to share this with my children, and thrilled that one of them is showing interest. Actually, she's more interested than I ever expected at this age! But then, Lenora is really sensitive to our feelings . . . she may know how much this matters to me, and be working on letters because she can tell it gives her a special relationship with me. And it does - Iliana and I have more similar personalities, while Lenora is more like her Dad, so sharing a love of words with Lenora is extra special to me.
Iliana's not as interested in her letters, but I'm definitely seeing the "twin synergy" kick in. That's what I call the effect where one twin learns something, and then the other twin picks it up without any more work from us - even though it's not in her personality to work on that skill. As parents, DH and I focus on teaching whomever is easiest to teach a particular skill, and almost always the other sibling will go through a spurt in a couple of months, and almost catch up with her sister before returning to her "favorite" skills to develop once more.
Iliana continues to "test" a lot - I think she will always push boundaries more than Lenora will. She is just so curious. However, she is definitely starting to get the hang of self-restraint, and is mastering the art of charming people (except when she is tired - did I mention that she takes after me?).
Both girls are thrilled with all the kids they've seen lately. The older children of our friends are amazing with these little girls, and really look out for them and love to show them new things. I'm seeing their care reflected in how the girls play and care for their dolls (and our own care . . . Iliana's dolls get a lot of timeouts, always administered by her with glee, but they get lots of hugs too).
For the first time ever, I'm starting to see the behavior that DH sees when I'm gone. The girls are getting used to me being home, and sometimes will go play by themselves instead of clinging around me constantly, fussing and screaming unless I'm directly interacting with them. It's taken them over a week to get to that point, but things did start to smooth out after the first two days of leave. I'm amazed by the games they play on their own - their imaginations have become so much richer lately, and they are starting to act out small stories now. The other day I learned that they were driving to the zoo in their toy car to see the monkeys with their Bahka. "Bahka", by the way, is Iliana's made-up name for her grandmother, possibly derived from the thousands of books in Grandma's home. It's the only baby-word that has really "stuck" in our vocabulary.
Anyways, I'm still totally a first-time parent, revelling in all the new differences I see in my children. And obsessed with my kids . . . I sometimes feel embaressed by how single-minded I can be towards my kids, and I notice I often forget to talk about someone else's kids once in a while. Hopefully I'll grow out of that. I'm working on it, but I think it's harder with twins. It's not just my child that is amazing, it's how DIFFERENT they are. I still can't believe I got such ideal children - they are so much like the twins I daydreamed about while pregnant, with different personalities and richly enjoying each other's company. Except they listen better than I expected. I rarely have to threaten with timeouts, and even more rarely have to follow through on my threat.
Of course, they haven't gotten old enough to really start bickering yet. Or rebel.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Shopping trip!
DH and I finally realized that we could postpone our mortgage payments until the 16th if we pay a fee of $6 - meaning we will get another paycheck first. I put enough money into savings to get us through September (since our income will be going entirely to the next two mortgage payments), and the remainder is more than enough to get us through August with a little left over for much-needed "large item" purchases.
Our first "large purchase" was a shopping trip to Cash 'n' Carry. We spent a lot - over $200 - but walked out with soooo much meat. I broke all the pieces of meat up into sandwich bags - some diced for soups, some sliced for "snacks", some cut into "coins" of sausage, some cut into "steaks" of ham and turkey. In my experience, that is just the right amount of meat to use for one meal (which usually lasts us for dinner and lunch the next day, since we usually make soup or stir-fry or something with it). We have thirty bags from today's trip alone! Add in the meat we already have, and we have about 2 months of meat now in our freezer :-) Plus we have some cheese, condiments, spices . . . I'm happy.
I'm working to organize a get-together with a couple of friends to make a bunch of freezer meals together in a couple of days, as well. I'm also going to mix up some bags of dry spices, beans, grains, veggies, and mushrooms to make crockpot soups and chiles - just add meat! All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about the food situation when I go back to work.
I've set aside Tuesday to Thursday to just focus on food preperation - Bjorn has agreed to take the girls out while I work. Right now, we're actually focusing on laundry and clothes - getting everything washed and put away, and figuring out what the "right place" is for everything. Then we'll go to San Juan Island to visit Bjorn's parents for the weekend. Once we get back, we'll focus on unpacking all of the boxes in the garage and getting things in general organized and put away around the house for a week - and then the last week, I get to focus on the garden (which is fun, but hard work), and will return to work on Friday, September 5th.
I'm hoping that we can start pretending I'm "going to work" as the date draws closer - having me work outside for most of the day, just coming in for lunch, while Bjorn handles everything he'll be handling once I return to my real work, and keeping an early schedule - getting up at 5 AM, and going to bed right after the girls.
Our first "large purchase" was a shopping trip to Cash 'n' Carry. We spent a lot - over $200 - but walked out with soooo much meat. I broke all the pieces of meat up into sandwich bags - some diced for soups, some sliced for "snacks", some cut into "coins" of sausage, some cut into "steaks" of ham and turkey. In my experience, that is just the right amount of meat to use for one meal (which usually lasts us for dinner and lunch the next day, since we usually make soup or stir-fry or something with it). We have thirty bags from today's trip alone! Add in the meat we already have, and we have about 2 months of meat now in our freezer :-) Plus we have some cheese, condiments, spices . . . I'm happy.
I'm working to organize a get-together with a couple of friends to make a bunch of freezer meals together in a couple of days, as well. I'm also going to mix up some bags of dry spices, beans, grains, veggies, and mushrooms to make crockpot soups and chiles - just add meat! All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about the food situation when I go back to work.
I've set aside Tuesday to Thursday to just focus on food preperation - Bjorn has agreed to take the girls out while I work. Right now, we're actually focusing on laundry and clothes - getting everything washed and put away, and figuring out what the "right place" is for everything. Then we'll go to San Juan Island to visit Bjorn's parents for the weekend. Once we get back, we'll focus on unpacking all of the boxes in the garage and getting things in general organized and put away around the house for a week - and then the last week, I get to focus on the garden (which is fun, but hard work), and will return to work on Friday, September 5th.
I'm hoping that we can start pretending I'm "going to work" as the date draws closer - having me work outside for most of the day, just coming in for lunch, while Bjorn handles everything he'll be handling once I return to my real work, and keeping an early schedule - getting up at 5 AM, and going to bed right after the girls.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Leave of absence from work
I'm going to be taking a leave of absence from work starting tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to do my job better after taking a break. And hopefully that will be enough to keep my job.
Going without an income is going to be a financial stretch. But this is a good job, and losing it will be a longer financial stretch - and finding a new job would be a huge mental hurdle right now. It's really hard to sell yourself when you feel like a loser *and* you just got laid off.
I've been trying to tell myself that it's okay to just enjoy the time off and not feel guilty or like a failure because "I ought to feel bad, it's my fault I need to take time off". I thought I was prepared to be positive - but then I go to blog about it, and I feel like I should be expressing remorse (yet another benefit of the blog - it uncovers bad mindsets I might not otherwise recognize until it was too late).
I can't really afford to take all the blame right now (even though it *is* all my fault, 'cuz I'm SuperWoman and should NEVER fail at anything! And should be completely independent of those around me and never need help or support!). I know it's irrational to think this is entirely my fault. The last thing I need is to get depressed right as I take time off of work, and spend 30 days wallowing in self-pity. I can be really good at wallowing . . . not exactly a skill that gets listed on my CV :-P
Going without an income is going to be a financial stretch. But this is a good job, and losing it will be a longer financial stretch - and finding a new job would be a huge mental hurdle right now. It's really hard to sell yourself when you feel like a loser *and* you just got laid off.
I've been trying to tell myself that it's okay to just enjoy the time off and not feel guilty or like a failure because "I ought to feel bad, it's my fault I need to take time off". I thought I was prepared to be positive - but then I go to blog about it, and I feel like I should be expressing remorse (yet another benefit of the blog - it uncovers bad mindsets I might not otherwise recognize until it was too late).
I can't really afford to take all the blame right now (even though it *is* all my fault, 'cuz I'm SuperWoman and should NEVER fail at anything! And should be completely independent of those around me and never need help or support!). I know it's irrational to think this is entirely my fault. The last thing I need is to get depressed right as I take time off of work, and spend 30 days wallowing in self-pity. I can be really good at wallowing . . . not exactly a skill that gets listed on my CV :-P
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Daily prayer
I've needed to add regular daily prayer into my life for a long time. This is gaining especial importance now that the girls are becoming old enough to actively pray with me (and prayer is becoming easier - it's so much easier to do something "for the children and family" than "for myself").
Enter this website: Daily Catholic Prayer. Simple, but good.
I've been trying to remember to say grace before meals, at least at home. The girls are eager to join in the ritual of prayer, even though they do not fully understand it. Children are so eager to say, "Thank you!" I need to add prayer in before bed as well, but ritual prayers alone do not feel right to me.
I think examination of concience is perfect, however. The girls are so eager to be polite and "nice". "Thank you", "I'm sorry", and "Please" come naturally to them. Saying one of each before bed, to God, seems so natural and . . . right. And ageless. These words are appropriate at all stages of life - they are limitless in their capacity for sophistication and expression, and grow as we do.
Maybe someday we'll be ready for daily Mass or Rosaries, but for now I'll focus on a humble foundation. This temple for worshipping the Lord is not yet ready for a steeple.
My favorite gem: A prayer for work.
"Direct, we beg You, O Lord,
our actions by Your holy inspirations
And grant that we may carry them out
with Your gracious assistance,
That every prayer and work of ours
may begin always with You,
and through You be happily ended.
Amen."
Enter this website: Daily Catholic Prayer. Simple, but good.
I've been trying to remember to say grace before meals, at least at home. The girls are eager to join in the ritual of prayer, even though they do not fully understand it. Children are so eager to say, "Thank you!" I need to add prayer in before bed as well, but ritual prayers alone do not feel right to me.
I think examination of concience is perfect, however. The girls are so eager to be polite and "nice". "Thank you", "I'm sorry", and "Please" come naturally to them. Saying one of each before bed, to God, seems so natural and . . . right. And ageless. These words are appropriate at all stages of life - they are limitless in their capacity for sophistication and expression, and grow as we do.
Maybe someday we'll be ready for daily Mass or Rosaries, but for now I'll focus on a humble foundation. This temple for worshipping the Lord is not yet ready for a steeple.
My favorite gem: A prayer for work.
"Direct, we beg You, O Lord,
our actions by Your holy inspirations
And grant that we may carry them out
with Your gracious assistance,
That every prayer and work of ours
may begin always with You,
and through You be happily ended.
Amen."
Monday, July 21, 2008
What kind of job I'm looking for
First, my background:
- I have a BS in Computer Engineering from the University of Washington, which is a pretty good school for CS (it's often ranked next after Berkeley - around the 5th / 6th best school in the country when I graduated).
- I have 6 months experience as a software development engineer intern.
- Since graduation, I have worked in the test discipline.
* Nine months as an Software Test Engineer contractor at Microsoft (MS) (working for Volt)
* One year as a Software Development Engineer in Test (SDET) contractor at MS (working for Volt)
* Eight months in current position as MS SDET in Internet Explorer
- I may be making a career switch to development - but need to conduct some informational interviews first to learn what QA outside of MS looks like.
I'll post a link to my resume once I get around to updating it.
So the first thing I actually need to do is to conduct informational interviews at various companies to see what their 1-2 years experience test development and entry-level software development work is like. I've heard that testing outside of MS is very different, and I'm not sure I'm interested in a test career outside of this company.
Right now, what I need most is contacts for informational interviews with software development professionals and software testing professionals in a variety of companies. I will not be looking for a job in these interviews - rather, I will be trying to decide what kind of company I am interested in working in, and whether I want to continue my career in software testing or make a career move to software development. If I spend time on unemployment, I will *need* to make contact on specific jobs, so I should use this time to figure out the big picture information I will need to make those contacts useful.
I am especially interested in companies that match any of the following points:
- Are in or very close to Everett
- Have great benefits, especially health benefits
- Are concerned with making the world a better place, either by directly working towards that goal (like Catholic Charities . . . but I don't think they're hiring for my role right now) or by taking steps to give as a company and encouraging giving and volunteering by their employees (MS does a great job with this)
- Are full of enthusiastic, active people who really love what they do
- Have room for flexible schedules for employees (like 7 to 4 schedules instead of 8 to 5, or "just get the work done and be here from 10 to 4" - like at MS)
I'm still working out what my needed and desired salaries are. I'd prefer full-time work with a great company, but contract work at a company that I *think* is great would be OK if I can find a good, small, personal contracting agency.
Yeesh. Re-reading this post is giving me the shakes. It's very real. The only thing I've been through in my life that had a similar emotional impact was finding out that we were expecting twins. Of course, my first reaction there was happiness - but then I started reading about the health risks and challenges, and I was really roller-coasting emotionally for a while, between excited anticipation and fear. Here, the first reaction was being upset - but the roller-coasting is pretty similar. As long as I keep pushing forward when I'm feeling optimistic, I should be able to coast through the down-periods and just focus on prayer until I'm ready to get back to work again.
I know other people who have been through similar problems before - so that's an advantage over the twin pregnancy. I can talk to friends who have been through this before. Obviously, it's not the end of the world. The really scary parts of job loss are fairly far down the road - a lot of things have to go wrong before we're really in trouble.
- I have a BS in Computer Engineering from the University of Washington, which is a pretty good school for CS (it's often ranked next after Berkeley - around the 5th / 6th best school in the country when I graduated).
- I have 6 months experience as a software development engineer intern.
- Since graduation, I have worked in the test discipline.
* Nine months as an Software Test Engineer contractor at Microsoft (MS) (working for Volt)
* One year as a Software Development Engineer in Test (SDET) contractor at MS (working for Volt)
* Eight months in current position as MS SDET in Internet Explorer
- I may be making a career switch to development - but need to conduct some informational interviews first to learn what QA outside of MS looks like.
I'll post a link to my resume once I get around to updating it.
So the first thing I actually need to do is to conduct informational interviews at various companies to see what their 1-2 years experience test development and entry-level software development work is like. I've heard that testing outside of MS is very different, and I'm not sure I'm interested in a test career outside of this company.
Right now, what I need most is contacts for informational interviews with software development professionals and software testing professionals in a variety of companies. I will not be looking for a job in these interviews - rather, I will be trying to decide what kind of company I am interested in working in, and whether I want to continue my career in software testing or make a career move to software development. If I spend time on unemployment, I will *need* to make contact on specific jobs, so I should use this time to figure out the big picture information I will need to make those contacts useful.
I am especially interested in companies that match any of the following points:
- Are in or very close to Everett
- Have great benefits, especially health benefits
- Are concerned with making the world a better place, either by directly working towards that goal (like Catholic Charities . . . but I don't think they're hiring for my role right now) or by taking steps to give as a company and encouraging giving and volunteering by their employees (MS does a great job with this)
- Are full of enthusiastic, active people who really love what they do
- Have room for flexible schedules for employees (like 7 to 4 schedules instead of 8 to 5, or "just get the work done and be here from 10 to 4" - like at MS)
I'm still working out what my needed and desired salaries are. I'd prefer full-time work with a great company, but contract work at a company that I *think* is great would be OK if I can find a good, small, personal contracting agency.
Yeesh. Re-reading this post is giving me the shakes. It's very real. The only thing I've been through in my life that had a similar emotional impact was finding out that we were expecting twins. Of course, my first reaction there was happiness - but then I started reading about the health risks and challenges, and I was really roller-coasting emotionally for a while, between excited anticipation and fear. Here, the first reaction was being upset - but the roller-coasting is pretty similar. As long as I keep pushing forward when I'm feeling optimistic, I should be able to coast through the down-periods and just focus on prayer until I'm ready to get back to work again.
I know other people who have been through similar problems before - so that's an advantage over the twin pregnancy. I can talk to friends who have been through this before. Obviously, it's not the end of the world. The really scary parts of job loss are fairly far down the road - a lot of things have to go wrong before we're really in trouble.
More of an update on the job issues
I have a bit more information about what will be happening with my job. It's bad and good. I can say that I expect to be working at another company in the near future, and I don't expect to be fired.
I'm almost looking forward to things changing now. If I ignore how much my knees are shaking, that is. I'm trying to figure out what I want to get out of this change - dreams I was putting off because things were just settling down and I wasn't ready to change things up again - and this situation is also giving our family a much-needed shake-up. Our family seems to struggle with luxery and comfort. We hang together much better in tough times.
Please pray for us to be given to from the gifts of the Holy Spirit, espceially fortitude. And give thanks to St. Ignatius for that wonderful truism, "Pray as if everything depended on God. Work as if everything depended on you." I may be paraphrasing - I've never read the original text, just others quoting him. But those words describe very well what I need to be doing right now.
I'm on the clock right now, so I need to get back to work (I guess this is my 15 minute break - I don't usually take those, I normally blog during lunch or just before or just after work). I'll post on what kind of job I'm looking for during lunch, in case anyone has any practical help to offer - and also because I need to firm it up in my own head.
Thank you for your comments and prayers. I can't tell you how much they help.
I'm almost looking forward to things changing now. If I ignore how much my knees are shaking, that is. I'm trying to figure out what I want to get out of this change - dreams I was putting off because things were just settling down and I wasn't ready to change things up again - and this situation is also giving our family a much-needed shake-up. Our family seems to struggle with luxery and comfort. We hang together much better in tough times.
Please pray for us to be given to from the gifts of the Holy Spirit, espceially fortitude. And give thanks to St. Ignatius for that wonderful truism, "Pray as if everything depended on God. Work as if everything depended on you." I may be paraphrasing - I've never read the original text, just others quoting him. But those words describe very well what I need to be doing right now.
I'm on the clock right now, so I need to get back to work (I guess this is my 15 minute break - I don't usually take those, I normally blog during lunch or just before or just after work). I'll post on what kind of job I'm looking for during lunch, in case anyone has any practical help to offer - and also because I need to firm it up in my own head.
Thank you for your comments and prayers. I can't tell you how much they help.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Prayers please
I have good reason to think that if I don't start doing better at work, I may lose my job, and I'm feeling very scared. I don't know if I can deal with yet another round of changes while I'm still feeling exhausted from moving and all the family stress. I don't have much optimism left right now. Logically, I know we'll get through this one way or another,that God is there - but emotionally, I'm just tired.
I'm hoping I can pull everything together enough to keep this job. I suspect I'll actually feel better once I get through the shock - although it shouldn't have been such a shock. I knew things were going badly. In a way, it's good to have my intuition confirmed.
I was hoping to have a little energy to start looking at the presidential candidates. Guess I'm not going to get that for a while.
I'm trying to pull myself together enough that I don't break into tears on the bus. I cry very easily, so that's going to be tough. I'm feeling a little bad about feeling so bad - a friend of a friend recently learned that she had cancer,then learned that it could be contained. I know people go through harder challenges, but I just wish I didn't feel so darned guilty for putting my family into *this* challenge.
I'm hoping I can pull everything together enough to keep this job. I suspect I'll actually feel better once I get through the shock - although it shouldn't have been such a shock. I knew things were going badly. In a way, it's good to have my intuition confirmed.
I was hoping to have a little energy to start looking at the presidential candidates. Guess I'm not going to get that for a while.
I'm trying to pull myself together enough that I don't break into tears on the bus. I cry very easily, so that's going to be tough. I'm feeling a little bad about feeling so bad - a friend of a friend recently learned that she had cancer,then learned that it could be contained. I know people go through harder challenges, but I just wish I didn't feel so darned guilty for putting my family into *this* challenge.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
